Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Students
in several university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
Add a missing verb
are interest
interest
Replace the word
interested
to learn
other Change preposition
in learning
subjects
besides
their main one, whilst others believe it is more crucial to focus their studying time and attention for
a qualification. Change preposition
on
This
essay will discuss both views and at the
end
I will give my personal opinion.
The reasons why many Add a comma
end,
students
willing
to learn other Add a missing verb
are willing
subjects
as an additional courses
might be Correct the article-noun agreement
an additional course
additional courses
cause
of the interesting topics that align with their main Add an article
the cause
a cause
subjects
. This
actually can expand the knowledge of the students
by learning other materials to support their main studies
. For instance
, a
law Correct article usage
apply
students
can take other course
Change the wording
another course
other courses
such
as english
literature wherein Change the capitalization
English
it
can increase their literature skills Correct pronoun usage
apply
especially
in Add the comma(s)
, especially
english
that can help them to read and write an Change the capitalization
English
english-based
research pretty well.
Change the capitalization
English-based
However
, others also
have a strong reasons
why they think it is Correct the article-noun agreement
a strong reason
strong reasons
way
important to Rephrase
very
committed
their time and attention to studying Change the form of the verb
commit
spesifically
for Correct your spelling
specifically
a
qualifications. Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
This
can be explained by a
numerous cases where Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
students
failed to pass the exam because of the lack of studying. This
is supporting
the opinion Wrong verb form
supports
that is
more important to focus on what subjects
we were
studying, Wrong verb form
are
rathen
than learn another that can Correct your spelling
rather
affects
our Change the verb form
affect
performances
in the class and/or qualifications.
In my personal Fix the agreement mistake
performance
views
, I believe if we have Fix the agreement mistake
view
a
good intentions Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
the
good results will come along the Correct article usage
apply
way
. If by
taking Change preposition
apply
another
Replace the adjective
another subject
other subjects
subjects
as a support to our main studies
could increase the
knowledge of the field, I believe it is one of the best Change the word
our
way
to maximise our Change to a plural noun
ways
educations
. Fix the agreement mistake
education
However
, if this
could affect our studies
in a negative way
, I strongly support to focus
on our main one and Change the verb form
focusing
dedicate
our time to Wrong verb form
dedicating
pass
the qualifications.
Wrong verb form
passing
To sum up
, the importance of taking other subjects
beside
our main Change preposition
besides
studies
could be depend
on each Change the verb form
depend
individuals
. It is important to know our capacity before Change to a singular noun
individual
added
another Wrong verb form
adding
weigh
Correct your spelling
weight
into
our Change preposition
to
studies
.Submitted by salwaputrihardiyan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
clarity and comprehensiveness
Work on enhancing the clarity and comprehensiveness of ideas. Some parts of your essay are not as clear as they could be. Try to simplify your sentences without losing meaning.
support with examples
Consider adding more varied and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your argument more compelling and concrete.
grammar and structure
Refine your grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. While your argument is understandable, certain sentences could be smoother and more precise.
structure
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your discussion effectively.
balanced discussion
You've balanced the discussion by exploring both sides of the argument before providing your personal opinion, which is a strong approach.
example usage
The use of an example linking law students with English literature is a creative way to illustrate your point.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.