It is easier for wealthy people to maintain good health than it is for people who don’t have large amounts of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your reasons and include relevant examples. Write at least 250 words.

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These days, it is very easy for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich people to focus on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
health
Use synonyms
;
Linking Words
However
Fix capitalization
however
show examples
, it is hard for those who do not have enough
money
Use synonyms
to spend on their
health
Use synonyms
. If asked, I strongly agree with
such
Linking Words
a notion. My view is justified
further
Linking Words
. There are several arguments to support my stand.
Firstly
Linking Words
, wealthy folks can eat healthy foods which is rich in nutrients and vitamins.
In other words
Linking Words
, those types of foods are expensive
such
Linking Words
as fruits,
dry-fruits
Correct your spelling
dry fruits
show examples
and so on.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they can spend
money
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for
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in
show examples
the gym to do daily exercises for
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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heart and body.
For example
Linking Words
, if they will do weight training and cardio
exersice
Correct your spelling
exercise
exercises
daily, it will not only
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
for their physical
health
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but
also
Linking Words
enhance their mental
health
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.
In addition
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to that, most of the individuals can not afford to go to the fitness studio especially those from socially or economically deprived families.
For instance
Linking Words
, because of the
less
Fix the agreement mistake
low
show examples
earnings, they are only able to
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
the
rudimantory
Correct your spelling
rudimentary
needs of their family.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, those who have
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
money
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can not spend more
money
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on expensive food or items in order to utilize or save
money
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for the upcoming years.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, it is
alo
Correct your spelling
also
true that, even with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less
money
Use synonyms
they can take care of their
health
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
eating cheaper fruits as all the fruits are healthy. And most of the people who have more
money
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are
skeptical
Change the spelling
sceptical
show examples
to use
Change preposition
about using
show examples
their earnings because they
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to save more. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
although
Linking Words
anyone can able to take care of their
health
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with more or less
money
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, my
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
show examples
convinces
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that for
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
livelihood, everyone needs more
money
Use synonyms
is logically
accaptable
Correct your spelling
acceptable
.
Submitted by DARSHITA on

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task achievement
Improve sentence structure and clarity by avoiding run-on sentences and ensuring each sentence clearly communicates a single idea.
task achievement
Provide more varied and specific examples to better illustrate your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include transitional phrases to improve the flow of ideas and connect your points more cohesively.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, making it easy for the reader to understand your viewpoint from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents logical arguments to support the idea that wealthier individuals find it easier to maintain good health.
task achievement
You successfully provide both sides of the argument, acknowledging some counterpoints which is a strong part of your argumentation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • affluent
  • financial hurdles
  • routine check-ups
  • specialized treatments
  • organic foods
  • processed foods
  • personal nutritionists
  • gym memberships
  • personal trainers
  • leisure time
  • stress management
  • financial stability
  • vacations
  • spa treatments
  • therapies
  • clean air
  • water pollution
  • noise pollution
  • financial insecurity
  • healthier environments
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