The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

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Education
Use synonyms
is undeniably
notable
Correct article usage
a notable
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part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. When we hear the word we quickly think of schools, colleges ,and universities with teachers or professors. A lot of people set their focus that it is the key to success and can only be acquired through proper schooling .
However
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, not all professionals
became
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become
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victorious in their
career
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careers
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by finishing a course.
This
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essay will emphasize the importance and the impact of
education
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we get from our family.
To begin
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with, parents are considered to be the first teacher and
taught
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teach
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the alphabet, life skills, values and
right
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the right
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attitude since most of their time
are
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is
show examples
spent with their little ones. Kids pick up behaviour and follow simple gestures
according to
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what they see in the environment.
For instance
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, at home mother and father raised their children to become kind and polite to everyone regardless of their age, status, religion, color, and ethnicity. Possessing
such
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values may influence a child on how to
interacts
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interact
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at school or in any situation.
Additionally
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,
this
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will help reduce bullying. On the other side of the argument, educational institutions provide formal ways of teaching that
focuses
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focus
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more on academic subjects
such
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as math, science and English.
Moreover
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,
this
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helps to obtain a professional career like
Correct article usage
a doctors
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doctors
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doctor
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,
teachers
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teacher
show examples
,
nurses
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nurse
show examples
and many more.
For
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this
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reason, a person is required to attend formal
education
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in order to meet the qualifications needed for the job or career they want to pursue.
To sum up
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,
although
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it is irrefutable that
education
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from the institution made many lives comfortable.
However
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, we shouldn’t underrate the values, customs and traditions that we absorb from our parents and family. I firmly believe that a combination of teaching from family and educational institutions will definitely create a successful individual in the future.
Submitted by roycelparaiso on

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task achievement
Ensure to expand more on how family education complements formal education to enhance task response.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through the arguments presented in each paragraph.
task achievement
Try to develop some points further, providing more specific examples or personal insights.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly sets the scene for the discussion and presents the main argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion, recognizing the value of both family and formal education.
introduction conclusion
Conclusion effectively summarizes and restates the main points, reinforcing the argument presented.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • savings
  • investing
  • tax obligations
  • retirement planning
  • loans
  • credit
  • interest rates
  • crowded curricula
  • traditional academic subjects
  • real-life experiences
  • parental guidance
  • practical
  • intellectually rigorous
  • school syllabus
  • gig economy
  • income-streams
  • challenging
  • trained teachers
  • specialized field
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