Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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whether to live as teenage years or to live
adult
life
, what
life
brings more happiness? I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
adult
life
is better. because
responsivility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
means
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
ego.
even
Capitalize word
Even
show examples
if they
faile
Correct your spelling
fail
failed
, it makes their
honors
Change the spelling
honours
show examples
. but
this
essay will discuss both perspectives.
firstrly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
,
teenage
Add an article
the teenage
a teenage
show examples
year is
defineatly
Correct your spelling
definitely
awesome
Correct article usage
an awesome
show examples
period
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
many people. not only they can play every
time
. even if they are in the school.
also
Add a comma
also,
show examples
they can meet
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
naturally almost every day. it is amazing fun. and they don'
t
have greater responsibility. in terms of crimes, economic,
legally
Change the word
legal
show examples
and
feautures
Correct your spelling
features
. it means
freedom
. but they were prohibited by parents, teachers and school.
freedom
that they can enjoy is
limitied
Correct your spelling
limited
. and they don'
t
have enough money.
secondly
, I believe that one of the
most
Correct word choice
biggest
show examples
advantages
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
adult
is
choiseable
Correct your spelling
choice
. even if we can'
t
predict
conclusion
Correct article usage
a conclusion
show examples
.
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
all results
dosen'
Verb problem
don't
show examples
t
flow
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
bad
Change the word
badly
show examples
. pleasure
bring
Wrong verb form
brought
show examples
from
freedom
isn'
t
trade
anythings
Fix the agreement mistake
anything
show examples
. especially
time
and money.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
the
phychology
Correct your spelling
psychology
,
ego
Correct article usage
the ego
show examples
is
maden
Correct your spelling
made
by responsibility.
responsibility
Capitalize word
Responsibility
show examples
for
own
Correct pronoun usage
my own
show examples
life
is greater
hapiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
when
eventuallly
Correct your spelling
eventually
I
failed
Wrong verb form
fail
show examples
in
career
Add an article
the career
a career
show examples
field,
economic
Replace the word
economics
show examples
and
someting
Correct your spelling
something
. It is going to precious experience. and we can learn many
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
in our history. in conclusion,
while
review
Change the verb form
reviewing
show examples
both
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
. pleasure of playing and happiness of
freedom
. and as you know we've had
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
during all of
life
time
. within the teenagers. from my personal opinion as
Add an article
an adult
show examples
adult
Add a comma
adult,
show examples
I love
this
time
. so I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
adult
life
is better.
Submitted by moon7125 on

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task achievement
Provide clearer and more detailed examples to support your points. This will help illustrate your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and coherence. This will make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You have provided an introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your discussion.
task achievement
You attempted to discuss both perspectives, which demonstrates an understanding of the essay prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adolescence
  • responsibilities
  • milestones
  • fulfillment
  • exploration
  • identity
  • carefree
  • accomplishments
  • emotional support
  • stable relationships
  • forging friendships
  • meaningful relationships
  • personal goals
  • pressures
  • significant
  • satisfaction
  • stress
  • unique joys
  • carefree
  • deeper happiness
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