Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times.They don't want their children to read any entertainment books because they think it is a waste of time.Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?why?
A lot of
parents
prefer to educate their children
only district
academic resources during their educational life. They Change preposition
on district
want
avoid their Add the particle
want to
children
from wasting important time with amusement
books, so they assume these types of books do not receive anything Replace the word
amusing
to
their Change preposition
from
children
. From my point of view, I tend to both agree and disagree with the given idea for plausible reasons.
Admittedly, there are some strong points from the aspect of parents
. For instance
, they encourage their children
to learn about their professional fields, because this
tendency can be gives
some Change the verb form
give
advantage
to Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
find
high paid jobs. Major Wrong verb form
finding
parents
desire to give freedom to their children
after their adult period,
because from their point of Remove the comma
apply
view
Add a comma
view,
this
cause preventing
their studies. Wrong verb form
prevents
For instance
, they think that their children
will fall behind in their studies if they do extracurricular activities.
However
, this
inclination below some drawbacks for children
. For example
, a lot of children
lost
their other abilities which these abilities can make a person Wrong verb form
lose
wellknown
. If one child Correct your spelling
well known
well-known
want
to learn about poetry and desire to be a poet, but family pressure can avoid Change the verb form
wants
this
interest. In addition
, a group of children
also
lost their study interest under parents
pressure. Because human mental structure Replace the word
parental
demand
some freedom in every process.
In conclusion, there are both agree and disagree Correct subject-verb agreement
demands
aproach
for me which can Correct your spelling
approach
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
children
`s future life. This
tendency can have positive and negative concequences
depending on Correct your spelling
consequences
child
. Because Add an article
the child
this
is a human life and every person or overthinker child can manage every difficult situation.Submitted by elmiribrahimli377 on
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task achievement
Expand on specific reasons or examples to support the argument, particularly when discussing the drawbacks of limiting children's reading materials.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to improve the essay's coherence.
task achievement
Revise sentences for clarity to ensure comprehensive ideas are expressed without confusion.
task achievement
Good attempt at introducing both sides of the argument, which is not common among beginner writers.
coherence and cohesion
Clear presence of an introduction and conclusion, providing a neat framework for the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite