Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Recently, people have preferred to move to cities for various
job
opportunities. Everyone wants to build a new life in towns. Especially, sea-side cities which Use synonyms
is
NYC, Toronto, Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Istanbul
. In my opinion, Correct word choice
and Istanbul
move
to Wrong verb form
moving
city
is the best idea if you looking for a Add an article
the city
job
. So,In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will discuss and explain why I think that.
Linking Words
Firstly
, there are a few business opportunities in Linking Words
countryside
. Add an article
the countryside
However
, nobody Linking Words
go
to Change the verb form
goes
Use synonyms
village
. But in Add an article
the village
case
, some people Correct determiner usage
this case
doing
Wrong verb form
do
agricultural
in Replace the word
agriculture
village
places. They can earn a little money from that category of jobs. So, from the Use synonyms
population
perspective, they suppose Change noun form
population's
move
to Wrong verb form
moving
city
for a Add an article
the city
a city
job
is the best idea. Use synonyms
For example
, In Turkey, we prefer live to in Istanbul for Linking Words
job
occasions. Use synonyms
Moreover
, we Linking Words
are create
our own special jobs. I have a bookshop in Istanbul and I earn high Change the verb form
are creating
payment
from my Replace the word
pay
job
.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, we use Linking Words
train
, Fix the agreement mistake
trains
car
and Fix the agreement mistake
cars
bus
in the city. That variety of activities makes us more energetic. It will be more useful and helpful for everyone. Fix the agreement mistake
buses
For instance
, When I come back to my home, I have to use Linking Words
bus
. Because Add an article
the bus
a bus
of
my school is really far from my home. So, there are Change preposition
apply
a
several benefits of transportation .
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
Thirdly
, it has Linking Words
also
some drawbacks. In Linking Words
Use synonyms
village
sides will have no population. Add a comma
village,
Therefore
, the agrarian places will be useless in the future. It can be harmful to us. In the cities, it will be more crowded on the streets. Linking Words
Also
, trees will Linking Words
cut
down on the streets. They will build a new house for Add a missing verb
be cut
Use synonyms
village
population.
Correct article usage
the village
To sum up
, I reckon we can produce robotics for Linking Words
a
agrarian place. Change the article
an
Besides
, we can create some innovation. If every Linking Words
village
Use synonyms
have
mechanisms for fertilizer, it will be more beneficial to Change the verb form
has
country
.Add an article
the country
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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer organization. Try using paragraphs to logically separate different points or aspects of your argument.
task achievement
Ensure each main idea is fully developed with examples or explanation. Some points, like the use of public transport and its benefits, could be clearer and more thoroughly explained.
coherence cohesion
Improve the flow by using linking words and phrases effectively. This will help in achieving a smoother transition between your ideas and arguments.
task achievement
Good job providing specific examples like Istanbul and your personal experience with a bookshop, which helped illustrate your points about job opportunities in cities.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presented the topic and your viewpoint, setting a good foundation for your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example