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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. M

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. M
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #show #m
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The table and pie chart illustrate the police wages of town Britain between 2017 and 2018. The table displays where the currency comes from,
also
Correct article usage
the chart
show examples
chart
Correct article usage
the chart
show examples
 reveals how it was allocated during those years.
Overall
 , the total police funding
enhanced
Add a missing verb
was enhanced
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 from
2017to
Correct your spelling
2017 to
 2018.
Moreover
, the percentage of salaries declined ,and buildings and transport stayed the same
how
Correct word choice
as
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 it was before.
However
, the proportion of technology increased
for
Change preposition
by
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minor
Correct article usage
a minor
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 percentage.
To begin
 with, in 2017 the rate of officers and staff created 75%. But, after
year
Correct article usage
a year
show examples
 it decreased
over
Change preposition
by over
show examples
 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.
Then
 for technology
devices
Add a comma
devices,
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 they spent a little money, but comparing 2 years
it’s
Unnecessary verb
it
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 rose
Change preposition
by
show examples
a small proportion.
Furthermore
, for buildings and
transport
Add a comma
transport,
show examples
 they paid 17%.
Nevertheless
, it didn’t
changed
Change the verb form
change
show examples
 over
Add an article
the year
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year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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.
Additionally
, for all sources ,they used a good amount of cash. It rose from 304.7m to 318.6m.
Then
, the national government
raised for
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not
much
Add a missing verb
have much
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 money, over2,3% .
In addition
, other sources,
such
 as grants unchanged, just improved
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
0,5 million.The local taxes generated a good result, the budget was over 102,3 million pounds.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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