IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. M

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. M
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table and pie chart illustrate the police wages of town Britain between 2017 and 2018. The table displays where the currency comes from,
also
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the chart
show examples
chart
Correct article usage
the chart
show examples
 reveals how it was allocated during those years.
Overall
Linking Words
 , the total police funding
enhanced
Add a missing verb
was enhanced
show examples
 from
2017to
Correct your spelling
2017 to
 2018.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the percentage of salaries declined ,and buildings and transport stayed the same
how
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 it was before.
However
Linking Words
, the proportion of technology increased
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
minor
Correct article usage
a minor
show examples
 percentage.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2017 the rate of officers and staff created 75%. But, after
year
Correct article usage
a year
show examples
 it decreased
over
Change preposition
by over
show examples
 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
 for technology
devices
Add a comma
devices,
show examples
 they spent a little money, but comparing 2 years
it’s
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 rose
Change preposition
by
show examples
a small proportion.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, for buildings and
transport
Add a comma
transport,
show examples
 they paid 17%.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it didn’t
changed
Change the verb form
change
show examples
 over
Add an article
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, for all sources ,they used a good amount of cash. It rose from 304.7m to 318.6m.
Then
Linking Words
, the national government
raised for
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not
much
Add a missing verb
have much
show examples
 money, over2,3% .
In addition
Linking Words
, other sources,
such
Linking Words
 as grants unchanged, just improved
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
0,5 million.The local taxes generated a good result, the budget was over 102,3 million pounds.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: