Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is often believed that the adolescent era is the most unforgettable and joyful day

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for

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every individual.Others would

also

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perceive that being an adult is more enjoyable despite a lot of obligations and demands in

life

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This

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essay will discuss both opinions and explain which stage of every human development is more enjoyable & memorable. On one hand, some people believe that the teenage years are one of the most joyous and happiest times of growth.Because

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

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teenager

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers

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there are

Verb problem

have

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fewer responsibilities compared to adults which gives them ample

hour

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hours

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to enjoy

life

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For example

Linking Words

, teenagers are enjoying their leisure

hour

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hours

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hanging out with friends and classmates .

Also

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, they try different types of adventures and new hobbies without any hesitation in paying monthly bills and working full-time.

Moreover

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, during

this

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point of

life

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, people are full of curiosity, energy and excitement which makes their experiences in

life

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more enjoyable.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, adulthood is the most

self fulfilling

Add a hyphen

self-fulfilling

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moment of every human ,even though there are a lot of demands and responsibilities.Adults have the ability to make important decisions ,

such

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as choosing their career ,building a family or following their dreams.These choices could lead to a more meaningful activity.

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, having children and achieving success in the field of profession brings a sense of pride and happiness.

Additionally

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, adults are more confident and. mature when it comes to decision-making, which helps them appreciate

life

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better. In my own perspective,

while

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teenage years are fun and carefree, youth brings more long-term happiness. In conclusion, both teenage years and adulthood offer different kinds of happiness.

However

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, I believe that personal growth and accomplishments in adulthood make it the happier stage of

life

Use synonyms

Submitted by xoxoxobels on Wed Dec 11 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Improve logical connections between paragraphs to enhance coherence.

Task Achievement

Ensure examples directly support the main points and are more specific.

Task Achievement

Work on developing ideas more comprehensively for clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion

A clear introduction and conclusion are present, providing a good structure to the essay.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses both perspectives, demonstrating understanding of the task.

Task Achievement

The expression of personal opinion is clear and contributes to the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

282 words

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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Students have difficulty concentrating in school. What are the reasons and solutions for this problem?

The increase in the production of consumer consumption goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this and what can be done to solve this problem?

It is important to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree