Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often believed that the adolescent era is the most unforgettable and joyful day
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
every individual.Others would
also
Linking Words
perceive that being an adult is more enjoyable despite a lot of obligations and demands in
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both opinions and explain which stage of every human development is more enjoyable & memorable. On one hand, some people believe that the teenage years are one of the most joyous and happiest times of growth.Because
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
there are
Verb problem
have
show examples
fewer responsibilities compared to adults which gives them ample
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
to enjoy
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, teenagers are enjoying their leisure
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
hanging out with friends and classmates .
Also
Linking Words
, they try different types of adventures and new hobbies without any hesitation in paying monthly bills and working full-time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, during
this
Linking Words
point of
life
Use synonyms
, people are full of curiosity, energy and excitement which makes their experiences in
life
Use synonyms
more enjoyable.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, adulthood is the most
self fulfilling
Add a hyphen
self-fulfilling
show examples
moment of every human ,even though there are a lot of demands and responsibilities.Adults have the ability to make important decisions ,
such
Linking Words
as choosing their career ,building a family or following their dreams.These choices could lead to a more meaningful activity.
For example
Linking Words
, having children and achieving success in the field of profession brings a sense of pride and happiness.
Additionally
Linking Words
, adults are more confident and. mature when it comes to decision-making, which helps them appreciate
life
Use synonyms
better. In my own perspective,
while
Linking Words
teenage years are fun and carefree, youth brings more long-term happiness. In conclusion, both teenage years and adulthood offer different kinds of happiness.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that personal growth and accomplishments in adulthood make it the happier stage of
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by xoxoxobels on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Improve logical connections between paragraphs to enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
Ensure examples directly support the main points and are more specific.
Task Achievement
Work on developing ideas more comprehensively for clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, providing a good structure to the essay.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives, demonstrating understanding of the task.
Task Achievement
The expression of personal opinion is clear and contributes to the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: