The values that we learn from our parents and family have greater influence on our future success than knowledge and skills we learn at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#values #parents #influence #future #success #skills #school

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Choosing between the family influences and the

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

we learn in

school

Use synonyms

is a significant decision with various considerations.

while

Linking Words

l acknowledge the emotional steadiness and personal advice , I believe that the

knowledge

Use synonyms

and skills we learn at

school

Use synonyms

provides

Change the verb form

provide

show examples

greater professional and comprehensive that are essential for

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

success. There are several reasons why

families

Fix the agreement mistake

family

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influence can be advantageous for

students

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

spend more time at home rather than

school

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so that

parents

Use synonyms

can focus on their children’s emotions more than teachers that

parents

Use synonyms

can give their emotional support immediately which can help their mood keep stable .

However

Linking Words

,not every parent

know

Correct subject-verb agreement

knows

show examples

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

how to correctly handle children’s feelings.

In addition

Linking Words

, the

value

Fix the agreement mistake

values

show examples

we learned from

parents

Use synonyms

or families are more personal.

For example

Linking Words

,our

parents

Use synonyms

only take care of us so that they can spend more time and energy

for

Change preposition

show examples

the problems we meet.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I would argue that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

educational influences provide a more professional and comprehensive

knowledge

Use synonyms

,which is crucial for most

students

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, the

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

school

Use synonyms

are through sufficient training and have rich teaching experience . In my opinion,the

knowledge

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gained

Wrong verb form

gain

show examples

school

Use synonyms

is more professional than

family influenced

Add a hyphen

family-influenced

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

, the skills of

school

Use synonyms

we learned are more comprehensive.

For instance

Linking Words

,we have to learn Chinese,math,English and even science which can enhance our understanding of the world and learn from different perspectives.without

this

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

may can’t realize the global trends. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

families

influenced

Verb problem

apply

show examples

offer

immediately

Change the word

immediate

show examples

emotional support and personal

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

,I believe that the

knowledge

Use synonyms

and skills we acquire from

school

Use synonyms

are more professional and comprehensive which are available for

students

Use synonyms

developed

Change the verb form

to develop

show examples

in future.

Submitted by fiasngs on Wed Dec 11 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide specific examples or evidence to support your points, which could strengthen your arguments on the influence of family versus school. Mentioning distinct examples relating to personal experiences or general examples can add depth to your discussion.

task achievement

Work on improving the clarity and accuracy of your language. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, punctuation (e.g., using periods and commas correctly), and ensuring each sentence clearly conveys your intended meaning.

coherence cohesion

Improve the transition between ideas and paragraphs. Using linking phrases like 'on the other hand', 'in addition', and 'consequently' can help to guide the reader through your essay more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

You have effectively included both an introduction and a conclusion, which successfully bookend your discussion and present your viewpoint clearly.

task achievement

Your essay contains relevant points for both sides of the issue, demonstrating an understanding of the topic and providing a balanced view.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

influence
future success
family values
knowledge and skills
shape
beliefs
behavior
emotional support
encouragement
academic education
discipline
time management
contribute to
extent
agree
disagree

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The values that we learn from our parents and family have greater influence on our future success than knowledge and skills we learn at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Some people think books are lossing their importance in information and entertainment purposes.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

The population of most cities is growing as people move cities to find work and new opportunities. What problems does overpopulation in cities cause ? How can these problems be solved?

Some people believe it is better to raise children in the city, while others consider the countryside to be a more suitable choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The image below shows the process of making carbonated drinks. summarise the information by seleand reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant