Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others that argue it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The education system today is increasingly dominated by the use of technology, particularly computers.
This
phenomenon has separated people into two groups, those who said it has positive impacts and those who oppose it. This
following essay will discuss both points of view and give my own perspective.
Correct determiner usage
The
Initially
, the foremost benefit is that technology provides broader knowledge and features in education. Students can find any kind of information on the internet, which may be difficult of
rare to obtain through Correct your spelling
or
physically
books or may only be available in certain countries. Change the adverb
physical
For example
, children who have an essay assignment about Ancient Rome can browse materials through various websites that provide multiple sources instead
of relying on one book reference. As result
, they can produce higher-quality writing Correct article usage
a result
while
saving time, which can be used for other beneficial activities.
On the other hand
, the chief disadvantages
is health concerns from some Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
oppose
groups. The long-term Change the form of the verb
opposing
effect
of using computers daily Fix the agreement mistake
effects
especially
for students Add the comma(s)
, especially
suggesting
detrimental physical health. A survey shows that 70% of young people have eye problems after several hours study in front of Wrong verb form
suggest
laptop
. Add an article
the laptop
a laptop
This
means, the chance for them to wear glasses in their early life increase and will rely on it for the rest of life.
In conclusion, while
the benefit allow
them to fulfill their not knowing Change the verb form
allows
sufficient
, some believe that it Change the word
sufficiently
also
permits others, especially eye health. In my opinion, this
system can continue to be pursued as long as combine
with Correct subject-verb agreement
combines
Correct article usage
a balance
balance
Correct your spelling
balanced
life style
, ensuring eat fruits and vegetables Correct your spelling
lifestyle
as well as
workout
and not Correct your spelling
working out
spend
all day in front of the screen.Wrong verb form
spending
Submitted by nineband9s on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Explain your points with additional supporting details or examples to ensure the reader fully understands your perspective.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Use transition words or phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Make sure all points are directly related to the topic. While your arguments are relevant, some sentences could be more explicitly linked to the main question to strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction that outlines the main argument and a conclusion that summarizes the key points.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the research on eye problems, which support your points effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views of the topic, ensuring a complete response to the task.