IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many students have to study subjects which they do not like. Some people think is a complete waste of time. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this Statement?

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In basic education, which usually consists of 12 years
since
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from
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 elementary to high school, students must study fundamental
concept
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concepts
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 in general.
Hence
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, they have to learn a lot of subjects which actually they do not like
all
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at all
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of
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apply
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them
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apply
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.
While
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 sometimes there are some opinions against it, arguing that it is wasting of time, I think that it is important to learn many
things
Use synonyms
 in the early years of our study. I would like to discuss my argument in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, learning broad subjects will give
young-adults
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young adults
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 opportunities
exploring
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to explore
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 many ideas. Do not let ourselves
being
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be
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 in
comfort
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our comfort
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 zone
to
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too
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 early
whithout
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without
 knowing the
things
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 the world could offer.
For example
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, a mathematician's son
think
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thinks
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 that he loves algebra because his father always
talk
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talks
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 about maths and he has not learned art yet. Probably, after he studies art, he will find himself in art and become a better artist than a mathematician.
Secondly
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, general
knowledge
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 is needed whatever your profession is. Even though eventually we must choose to pursue study in a particular field that we like, it is
also
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 important to have general
knowledge
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 of other
things
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becase
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because
 there is no subject
could
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that could
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 stand alone.
For instance
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, as an artist maybe you are very prominent at making
scuptures
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sculptures
. Yet, how to sell it ? At least you have to understand a little about business and marketing.
To conclude
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, for students it is important to have
broad
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a broad
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 understanding
about
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of
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 many
subject
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subjects
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 to explore ideas and to get general
knowledge
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. I think
,
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apply
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 it is important to comprehend many
things
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 forming our basic
knowledge
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 before we enter university. I suggest for students to
bare
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bear
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 with
things
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 they do not like in school. Who knows it will give them benefits in the future.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Improve cohesion by using more linking words and phrases throughout the essay to enhance flow.
task achievement
Clarify some examples and ensure each example directly supports the point being made.
task achievement
You present a well-structured argument with a clear position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay's arguments.
task achievement
You use relevant examples to support your main arguments.
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