Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that governments allocate a lot of effort and money to achieve global
sports
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
it is a commonly held belief that some nations tend to instruct specialised
facilities
Use synonyms
to train professional
athletes
Use synonyms
in order to win
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
sports
Use synonyms
competitions, there is
also
Linking Words
an argument that insists on making these
facilities
Use synonyms
accessible to everyone.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both points of view and express my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
with, international competitions are crucial to be participated by countries,
therefore
Linking Words
, investing money in
this
Linking Words
sector will be beneficial. It is
also
Linking Words
possible to say that providing specialised care is a must to support
athletes
Use synonyms
so they can win in these
sports
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, building these
facilities
Use synonyms
will assist them
to enhance
Change preposition
in enhancing
show examples
their muscles.
For example
Linking Words
, if there is a facility that includes a specialised swimming pool,
this
Linking Words
will facilitate the
Use synonyms
athletes
Change noun form
athlete's
athletes'
show examples
training schedules. Another point to consider, citizens must be encouraged to be
athletes
Use synonyms
by letting them
entering
Wrong verb form
enter
show examples
these
facilities
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, expanding the range of trainees will increase the levels and the numbers of professional
athlete’s
Change noun form
athlete
show examples
and that will be beneficial for any government.
Moreover
Linking Words
, countries will spend massive budgets in order to build these
facilities
Use synonyms
,
hence
Linking Words
, transforming these
facilities
Use synonyms
to be considered public spaces may develop the country.
For instance
Linking Words
, increasing the number of these buildings will
soar
Verb problem
raise
show examples
the
sports
Use synonyms
awareness of the country in general. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
question. On balance,
however
Linking Words
, I'm convinced that it is significant to provide those
athletes
Use synonyms
with specialised care and
facilities
Use synonyms
, but at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
also
Linking Words
have the right to take advantage of these
facilities
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by omima7a7md on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance your task response, ensure that both sides of the argument are equally developed. Try to expand on the ideas about public access to sports facilities to match the detail provided about specialized training centers.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence, consider using more linking words or phrases to improve the flow between points. This can make the progression of your ideas smoother and more logical.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets up the discussion well, clearly outlining the two sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position, offering a balanced view of the development.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant examples to illustrate the points about specialized training facilities, adding depth to the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialised facilities
  • train top athletes
  • international sports
  • boost
  • reputation
  • attract
  • sporting events
  • access
  • general public
  • inequality
  • opportunities
  • overemphasis
  • elite sports
  • neglect
  • grassroots development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: