In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving this message. A
Nowadays, in some nations young generation
are
motivated that they can accomplish their goal if they Change the verb form
is
work
hard. This
may lead to disadvantages such
as overwork and frustration, but on the other
hand
it can give successful results.
In our century it is common to convince youngsters if they Add a comma
hand,
work
hard and
their efforts will definitely pay off. Correct word choice
apply
However
, this
motivation does not apply to all areas of life. There variety of people
who have different abilities and they can face encounted
challenges despite their Correct word choice
apply
endeavor
. Fix the agreement mistake
endeavors
For example
, if children are convinced that they can achieve their goals with enough effort they might not accept failures and keep pushing forward until they reach their goals. Eventually, they may undervalued
their true potential, become less confident, and lose their motivation.
Change the verb form
undervalue
In contrast
, teaching young people
in this
way has its own benefits like successful results as it helps them to advance on their way to success. When young people
are told that hard work
is fundamental
step toward success and they are motivated by their parents, they will pay attention more and focus on their Add an article
a fundamental
the fundamental
work
, even when they face some hardships. For instance
, they can spend more time to
studying Change preposition
apply
their
exams, even sacrificing sleep and leisure activities.Change preposition
for their
This
consistent effort not only helps them to get high scores,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
builds resilience,which is essential for their future lives.
In conclusion, while
encouraging young people
to believe that hard work
leads to success can foster determination and resilience, it also
carries the risk of overwork and frustration if their efforts do not yield the desired results. Therefore
, it is crucial to balance this
mindset by teaching them to accept failures as part of the journey and to recognize their unique abilities. This
way, they can stay motivated and work
toward their goals while
maintaining their well-being.Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Aim to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs by using more cohesive devices.
task achievement
You covered the task effectively by discussing both advantages and disadvantages. Try to expand on the points with deeper insight to elevate your response.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly stated and comprehensively developed. Clarify the potential outcomes of both overwork and success by refining your examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure and argument, with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example on the influence of working hard on exam preparation, which strengthened your argument.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...