IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many peole think that it is important to go to university while others prefer to start work without getting a universty education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#peole #university #work #universty #education
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In the
last
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 decades, 1 has attracted several arguments and drawn the spotlight. Some
people
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 believe that 1 has many benefits,
while
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 others argue that 1 has many drawbacks.
This
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 essay will explain why 1 is vital for
people
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’s lives and has many advantages. First of all, there is a social reason why researchers think 1 has many benefits.
Although
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 the likely positive impacts of 1 must be taken into account, they still determine that 1 has, in many ways, massively enriched
people
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’s lives.
For example
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, a well-known Saudi Arabian philosopher once said: "1 helps
people
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 in a lot of life's fields”.
Thus
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, it clearly shows that 1 is significant.
In addition
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 to the social, another factor that should be considered is the cultural reason. As far as society is concerned, the ultimate aim of 1 is to raise awareness.
For instance
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, a recent article published by The Discover reveals that about 65% of
people
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 use 1 in Saudi Arabia. Indeed,
this
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 is a clear indication that individuals need to have 1 in their lives. In conclusion, many
people
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 hold the view that 1 is important for
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
 and cultural reasons outlined above.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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 1 has many advantages in the long term.
Submitted by sulltaqeel on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay includes specific examples relevant to the topic. For this essay, consider discussing specific advantages and drawbacks of university education versus starting work immediately after school.
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs an introduction that clearly states the topic you'll discuss. Ensure each paragraph flows logically and connects with the main argument.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, try to summarize the main points of your essay while expressing a personal opinion based on the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a structure with an introduction, albeit generic, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
There is an attempt to discuss benefits using generalized examples, which shows initial engagement with the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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