IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart illustrates the proportion of residents possessing computer from 2002 to 2010. The second bar chart compares the percentage of people who owned computer by level of their education between 2002 and 2010.

The first chart illustrates the proportion of residents possessing computer from 2002 to 2010. The second bar chart compares the percentage of people who owned computer by level of their education between 2002 and 2010.
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The first Chart shows the ratio of
computers
Use synonyms
' owners from 2002 to 2010.
While
Linking Words
 the second diagram
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 an illustration of
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
percentages of the number of people who have
aquired
Correct your spelling
acquired
computers
Use synonyms
 by the level of their education during the same period. As the years went by, the number of individuals who could access
computers
Use synonyms
 increased steadily.
With those
Change preposition
Those
show examples
 with no diplomas
experiencing
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 the most significant growth by roughly 30%.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the slightest change was among the post-graduates with a mere 15%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the alterations in percentages adversely
corrolated
Correct your spelling
correlated
 with the amount of users.
For example
Linking Words
, the
aformentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
 group was the biggest contributor, and those who
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not have diplomas were the tiniest.
This
Linking Words
 shows an inclination toward favouring the use of technology by the holders of higher certificates. In the end, as the
users
Correct quantifier usage
number of users
show examples
 of
computers
Use synonyms
 nearly doubled in the span of 8 years, we have seen the most substantial growth
within
Change preposition
among
show examples
 people with lower education compared to people with higher degrees.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words computers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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