Many people today are worried about cyber crime such as hacking and identity theft. What problems does cyber crime cause and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and business to take
Technology and
Use synonyms
internet
made a huge revelation in human being's life. Those Correct article usage
the internet
has
uncountable advantages but Change the verb form
have
also
some drawbacks and cybercrime is one of these. Because of crime Linking Words
by
Correct word choice
and by
internet
Use synonyms
peoples
are facing terrible Fix the agreement mistake
people
situation
. Fix the agreement mistake
situations
Such
asLinking Words
,
losing money, Remove the comma
apply
black mail
, and many more. In Correct your spelling
blackmail
this
essay, I will discuss Linking Words
about
the problems of crime Remove the preposition
apply
by
online and how Change preposition
apply
people
can overcome Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
apply
that
.
First and foremost, Blackmail is the most common crime Correct pronoun usage
them
which is
Verb problem
that
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
by
Change preposition
to
the
online criminals, especially girls. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, Linking Words
couple
of months ago, one of my female Change the article
a couple
classmate
Facebook account got hacked. Afterwards, the hacker asked Fix the agreement mistake
classmates
2000
US Dollars or the scammer Change preposition
for 2000
will
upload her personal photos and videos on Wrong verb form
would
Use synonyms
internet
, which Correct article usage
the internet
is
the criminal got from the account. Unnecessary verb
apply
Subsequently
, not only Linking Words
people
are Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
get
scammed by Wrong verb form
getting
those
online criminals Correct determiner usage
apply
as well as
banks, businesses and organizations. Linking Words
For instance
, Some European hackers hacked over 100 million US Dollars from the central bank of Bangladesh in 2016. Cyber-attack Linking Words
in
Change preposition
on
others
country’s Correct quantifier usage
other
website
can be a war situation.
On the flip of the coin, Fix the agreement mistake
websites
government
can spread some awareness Add an article
the government
Champaign
, specifically Change preposition
in Champaign
in
youth to reduce cybercrime. Change preposition
among
For instance
, it can be Linking Words
an
TV advertisement on Change the article
a
negative
effects of getting cyber Correct article usage
the negative
bulling
. Not only Correct your spelling
bullying
people
should set a strong enough password but Use synonyms
also
set up Linking Words
two step
authentications on their social media accounts for higher security. Add a hyphen
two-step
Moreover
, large businesses and Linking Words
organization
can hire some IT expert to protect their database. Education Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
board
can encourage students Fix the agreement mistake
boards
for
study Change preposition
to
about
IT Change preposition
apply
in
their higher levels.
In conclusion, everything has Change preposition
at
negative
side Add an article
a negative
as well
Linking Words
as
technology and Change preposition
including
Use synonyms
internet
. Correct article usage
the internet
People
should Use synonyms
more
careful about their personal data and uses of Add a missing verb
be more
Use synonyms
internet
. Add an article
the internet
Moreover
, Linking Words
government
should punish hard to those online criminals.Add an article
the government
Submitted by gwzihadyt on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs and ensure each idea transitions smoothly into the next. Try using more linking words or phrases to enhance cohesion.
Task Achievement
While your main points are clear, consider expanding on them with additional explanations or examples to achieve a more comprehensive response to the task.
Task Achievement
Beware of spelling and grammar errors that can interrupt the flow of reading. This will help in conveying your ideas more distinctly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to restate and reflect a bit more on the essay question in the conclusion to show a more sophisticated consideration of the topic.
Task Achievement
The essay provides specific examples, such as the hacking of the Bangladesh central bank.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have introduced the problem and provided a conclusion, which wraps up the essay nicely.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph discussing blackmail and personal stories captures reader engagement and makes the essay memorable.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...