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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #location #dance #classes #people #town #australia #summarise #features #comparisons
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The pie and bar graphs
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the information on the location and types of
dance
Use synonyms
 classes young people in a town in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
practice
Use synonyms
 in private studios with the number of
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
is vary
Wrong verb form
varies
show examples
 in each type of
classes
Fix the agreement mistake
class
show examples
. It can be seen that nearly half of the young individuals choose to
practice
Use synonyms
 in
a private studios
Correct the article-noun agreement
a private studio
private studios
show examples
. School halls (after-school) become the second
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
 places to do the
dance
Use synonyms
 classes,
whereas
Linking Words
 community halls & others hold a third position.
In contrast
Linking Words
, college-based studios become the least popular place to
practice
Use synonyms
 with only 10%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
Use synonyms
practice in
Wrong verb form
practising
show examples
 there.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 600 kids under 11 years old
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 ballet as their main type of
dance
Use synonyms
. Following on the second place is tap
dance
Use synonyms
 with over 450 kids, whilst modern
dance
Use synonyms
 become the
last
Linking Words
 with only 300
students
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, modern
dance
Use synonyms
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
 class
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
 people
age
Wrong verb form
aged
show examples
 11 to 16 with over 500
students
Use synonyms
, following tap
dance
Use synonyms
 with around 400
students
Use synonyms
, and ballet class
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the least with 300
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by salwaputrihardiyan on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, practice, students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • attending
  • currently
  • location
  • variety
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • venues
  • popularity
  • attendees
  • juxtaposing
  • correlating
  • proximity
  • cultural influences
  • trends
  • anomalies
  • monopoly
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • enrollment
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