1-Should a visitor to another country follow local customs, or should the host country welcome cultural differences? Discuss and make sure to give your own opinion.

#visitor #country #customs #host #differences

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Whenever tourists enter a country, they should choose between following local customs or

maintain

Wrong verb form

maintaining

show examples

their own culture abroad.

While

Linking Words

I prefer to adapt,

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss both of the arguments. There are some benefits from adapting to local habits. The host communities will easily welcome

tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists

show examples

who

willing

Add a missing verb

are willing

show examples

to immerse and enjoy their traditions.

This

Linking Words

acceptance will

make

Verb problem

give

show examples

tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists

show examples

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

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more access as well.

For example

Linking Words

, if you travel to Bali and would like to visit

pura

Change the capitalization

Pura

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sacred

Add an article

a sacred

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place for Hinduism, you should dress properly. Do not wear

tank

Add an article

a tank

show examples

top or short pants since you will not be allowed to enter. It is understandable that during the holidays tourists tend to dress casually,

hence

Linking Words

there is some degree of discomfort because of

this

Linking Words

rule.

However

Linking Words

, it is not a big deal.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, maintaining your custom is

also

Linking Words

essential especially when it is part of your core values. There are things you can

compromized

Correct your spelling

compromise

compromised

, but

somethings

Correct your spelling

some things

show examples

are absolute.

For example

Linking Words

, whenever my

moslem

Correct your spelling

Muslim

friends travel abroad, they always try to find halal food since they are not allowed to eat pork.

Usually

Add a comma

Usually,

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the host people understand their needs because it is an important practice of Islam religion.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

adapting to local

custom

Fix the agreement mistake

customs

show examples

brings several benefits, there are some traditions you can not

compromized

Correct your spelling

compromise

compromised

Therefore

Linking Words

you should maintain your habit

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

you are in other people's countries. For me, it is more exciting to practice local customs since it

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

new experiences for me. Understanding other people's

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

will make our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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more beautiful.

Submitted by edna.c.pattisina on Thu Dec 12 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the arguments that will be discussed, making it easy to follow the flow of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use more cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, adverbials) to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, ensuring your argument is easy to follow.

Task Achievement

Make sure examples directly support the point being made, easily connecting to the argument for more clarity.

General Writing

Proofread for small grammatical errors or typos to enhance the professionalism of your writing.

Task Achievement

The essay effectively presents a balanced discussion by examining both sides of the argument and providing relevant examples.

Task Achievement

Your examples about visiting Bali and dietary restrictions for Muslims were specific and enhanced the points you were making.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it understandable.

Coherence and Cohesion

A strong conclusion is presented that summarizes the main points and presents your own perspective clearly.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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1-Should a visitor to another country follow local customs, or should the host country welcome cultural differences? Discuss and make sure to give your own opinion.

What are advantages and disadvantages of starting work at 16 or 18 after school?

Some people believe that professional sportsmen and women are paid too much money nowadays in relation to their usefulness to society. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometimes starting from the age of five or six, right up until the age of 18. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exams?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.  Discuss both views and give your own opinion.