Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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With the
development
of technology, access to electronic devices has become an unavoidable fact. Among all these devices,
smartphone
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the smartphone
show examples
plays a major role. Unlike years ago, nowadays not only adults
,
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apply
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but
also
children
has
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have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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access to mobiles.
Use
Correct article usage
The use
show examples
of mobile phones among
children
has a positive
as well as
negative impact on their
development
.
This
essay discusses
about
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apply
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the above in detail. The
development
a
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of a
show examples
child
can have a positive impact
due to
the
use
of mobile phones. In today's contemporary society, both parents play the role of the
bread winner
Correct your spelling
breadwinner
show examples
in their families meanwhile, most of the
time
children
are left in a daycare or with some adults.
However
, the
use
of mobile can help
children
to
use
their parentless
time
meaningfully by providing educational support.
For
example
, a primary student can improve his
basis
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basic
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language and mathematical skills by playing some apps which can be installed
in
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on
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the phone.
Similarly
, even a toddler is capable of handling these devices at
such
a young age.
Although
this
must
be occurred
Change to the active voice
occur
have occurred
show examples
under the guidance of a parent or a guardian, they tend to grab the concept and methods of the mobile easily.
This
can develop their thinking capacity. As an
example
, apps
such
as ABCmouse, Peek-a-zoo and Speech
blubs
Capitalize word
Blubs
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are capable of improving the toddler's cognitive capacity
as well as
speaking ability.
However
, just as a coin has two sides, not only positive, but there can
have
Verb problem
be
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a negative
development
of a
child
due to
the
use
of mobile. One major issue a
child
could have is
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
problems. Lack of physical
exercises
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exercise
show examples
and social interactions
due to
mobile addiction can lead to obesity and social isolation.
As a result
, a
child
can
ended
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end
be ended
show examples
up non-sociable and unhealthy. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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example
, a boy who used to spend most of his
time
on screen would not have
much
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many
show examples
friends to communicate his feelings and
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
even can be ended having anxiety and depression. At the same
time
, massive screen
time
can disturb the
eye sight
Correct your spelling
eyesight
show examples
of a
child
.
According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientists, the light which sparks from mobiles
are
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is
show examples
toxicated
Correct your spelling
toxic
to the eyes. That can reduce
the
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apply
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vision and even
can
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apply
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damage the eye in
long
Correct article usage
the long
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term. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example
, a
child
who is addicted to the phone will have many difficulties in school work especially copying notes from
board
Correct article usage
the board
show examples
meanwhile others could. In conclusion, in
this
technical era, it is inevitable to distance a
child
from mobiles.
Overall
, since there are many positives and negatives, it is advisable
to
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for
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children
to
use
them in balance for their own betterment.
Submitted by batsathsarani on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and is fully developed with explanations and examples. At times, points seemed blended, affecting clarity.
task achievement
Provide clearer arguments, especially when distinguishing between positive and negative impacts. Each argument should directly relate to the central question.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and data to strengthen arguments. Use evidence to further clarify points made.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies the dual nature of smartphone use in children, covering both positive and negative aspects.
coherence cohesion
There's a recognizable structure with an introduction that sets up the discussion and a conclusion that summarizes the key points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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