Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve search situation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In
this
essay I am going to discuss that, relying on a poor and unappealing job causes a shortage of money, on the other hand
, I will advocate that it is better to try and improve the overall
situation.In my opinion, I strongly agree that creating and hustling to improve the situation is a good cause.As you will update your life
situation for sure your life
will be comfortable in various ways for example
, your family will have a comfortable life
, your kids will get into better academic institutes.
In my opinion, pursuing and pushing your limits will benefit you with a comfortable life
.Moreover
, a good house in
your property is going to make your family more joyful and connected.Change preposition
on
In addition
, a good ride will be a sign of respect in the society beside your house.
Above all
of that, you are going to make a great investment hence
, by providing your kids a good school and education.As a result
, they will get admission in
Change preposition
to
the
well-renowned universities.Their dreams will become a reality , and it will benefit you even more because they are gonna bring home more money and respect.
Accepting a dull Correct article usage
apply
life
is just full of cons moreover
, you will not be having a comfortable living.As a result
, your family including you will not be getting respect from anyone.Specifically in this
scenerio
, your kids suffer a lot because Correct your spelling
scenario
instead
of going to the
school they will just end up doing work to earn a living.
In conclusion, every soul must have a vision to see themself as a successful person.Correct article usage
apply
Life
is too short rather than spending it awfully, I believe it is better to keep working hard and make a good life
for your family and a better example for society.Submitted by umarilyas121 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved by using clear topic sentences and linking phrases.
task achievement
While you provide relevant examples, you may enhance the clarity of your ideas by structuring your arguments more systematically. Consider organizing your essay with clearer subheadings or separating different points into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Avoid informal language and fragmented sentences like 'they are gonna'. Instead, use more formal language appropriate for an academic essay. For instance, use 'they are going to' instead of 'they are gonna'.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, fulfilling the basic structure required for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You've addressed both sides of the argument in your response, demonstrating a balanced view which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
The essay includes specific examples, such as the influence of one's job on family and children's education, which support your argument effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.