IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small number of people*. *Some say that government should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that it would be a waste of money*. *Discuss both these views and give your opinion.*

#languages #danger #extinction #people* #*some #government #money #waste #money* #*discuss
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Nowadays, many indigenous languages are
in
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on
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 the verge of extinction as very less people communicate in their own mother tongue. Some people believe that the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 is responsible for saving it by investing public
money
while
 others argue that the
money
 would go
on
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to
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 waste.
This
 essay will describe both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of view before coming to one opinion.
To begin
 with, traditional
language
 is one of the most important
part
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parts
show examples
 of culture and history which should be preserved and passed on next generation. To save these
language
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languages
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government
 should
spent
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spend
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 some
money
 on awareness programs
as well as
 fund
few
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a few
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 community classes to teach traditional languages to
childrens
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children
show examples
as well as
 others.
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The Goverment
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Goverment
Correct your spelling
Government
 should
also
 introduce a policy to teach
mother
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the mother
show examples
language
compulsarily
Correct your spelling
compulsorily
compulsory
 in school alongside
with
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apply
show examples
English.
This
 way young children will have
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the oppurtunity
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oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to learn both
the
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apply
show examples
language
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languages
show examples
since
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from
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Correct article usage
a youn
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youn
Correct your spelling
young
 age.
For instance
, in Nepal,
Nepalese
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the Nepalese
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language
 is taught to
childrens
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children
show examples
since
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at
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school
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the school
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 level so every citizen can speak both Nepali and English fluently.
On the other hand
, it is not only
responsibility
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the responsibility
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 of
government
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the government
show examples
 to save the
language
 and the
cirtizens
Correct your spelling
citizens
 should be involved equally as well.
Because if
Correct word choice
If
show examples
 the
government
 spends
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 amount of
money
 on running these
language
 classes but no public attends
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
then
 it will go
on
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to
show examples
 waste. So,
government
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the government
show examples
 should invest wisely.
To conclude
, it is extremely necessary to save these languages but I believe that not only
government
 but
public
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the public
show examples
 should
also
 take part in it
otherwise
 it will be
aa
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 waste of
money
.
Submitted by ashmamrzn on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and that these ideas are logically ordered to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Consider using more precise and varied vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly and concisely.
task achievement
Make sure to further develop and fully explore both perspectives for a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Provides specific examples, such as the teaching of the Nepalese language in schools, to support arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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