Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible ther familia in scientific research, business and the academic world, Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #familia #research #business #world

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Few people think that it is not harmful to share

information

, related to any field

while

others argue that

information

is precious and should be kept hidden.

This

essay will discuss these standpoints in detail and will explain why

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that data should not be shared freely.

To begin

with

Add a comma

with,

show examples

the first

prespective

Correct your spelling

perspective

prospective

, the first and foremost reason for sharing details could be the appreciation and public funding. Numerous governments do not provide funding related to any scientific and academic research. It becomes very formidable for

reaserchers

Correct your spelling

researchers

, to continue their work.

For instance

Pakistani

Correct article usage

the Pakistani

show examples

government do not provide enough funds,

Consequently

orginizations

Correct your spelling

organisations

give

information

on public platforms like broadcasting media or social media, asking for donations. In

this

way, citizens donate

tremendous

Add an article

a tremendous

show examples

amount of wealth and

also

appreciate their services. Shifting towards the other view, some folks believe that their valuable facts could be misused. Because

information

requires plenty of time, effort and money and people do not prefer to disclose these because others can steal the idea. A good illustration of

this

is Facebook. the idea originally belonged to someone else. The Founder of

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

show examples

got

Verb problem

was

show examples

inspiraton

Correct your spelling

inspired

from

Change preposition

show examples

their notion,

hence

, Facebook developed.

As a result

, without putting any effort and time, they enjoy all the credit, prestige and exorbitant lifestyle.

This

is the main issue, people do not support

this

notion. In conclusion, few folks think that it is crucial to share details for personal gain ,

however

, others believe that it is vital to keep them

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a secret. In my opinion, data can be valuable and should not be disclosed on any level because it can be misused.

Submitted by georgeanum650 on Fri Dec 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the structure. While it mentions opposing views, clarifying that these will be discussed separately can enhance clarity.

language

Verify and refine grammatical structures. Minor errors in verb forms and prepositions slightly distract from the flow. However, they do not significantly alter understanding.

task achievement

Develop counterarguments more thoroughly to show balanced discussion in Task Achievement. Include more examples and analysis for the view you disagree with.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction that sets the stage for the discussion of both viewpoints.

task achievement

Relevant examples are provided, such as the situation in Pakistan and the background of Facebook, which help support the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible ther familia in scientific research, business and the academic world, Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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You borrowed something from your friend, later it got damaged. Write letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: •apology about the issue •tell how it got damaged •say you are going to fix this issue.

This is a part of a letter your receive from an English pen friend. Don't forget to tell me about the area you live in and what you and your friends do in your free time. Write a letter to your pen friend. Write your letter in about 100 words.

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, others think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both ways and give your opinion.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. Do the advantages of giving children this message outweigh the disadvantages?