IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the graph by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Press Submit to send to your teacher. Press Help to see model answer.

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the graph by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Press Submit to send to your teacher. Press Help to see model answer.
The line graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to the Louvre,
Vatican
Use synonyms
 museums, London Science, and Shenzhen from 1980 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of people who visited the Louvre and
Vatican
Use synonyms
 art galleries increased over the
period
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists who visited the London Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 declined.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
Vatican
Use synonyms
 museums had the highest increase in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2015. Louvre had the biggest
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists in 1980, at around 8
million
Use synonyms
, and it rose slightly to below 10
million
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.
Vatican
Use synonyms
 Art Gallery started the
period
Use synonyms
 at below 4
million
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 had the wildest fluctuation, with a massive jump to approximately 8
million
Use synonyms
 in 2015, meeting Louver
Museum
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 same
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the London Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 began with 4
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and decreased significantly to half that amount in 2015, which was 2
million
Use synonyms
, the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 in any other
museum
Use synonyms
. Shenzhen
Museum
Use synonyms
 remained relatively steady at the same
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 throughout the
period
Use synonyms
, at around slightly less than 4
million
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, vatican, period, museum, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: