IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that technology have a negative side while other think that it makes our life easier. Discuss both opinions and gave your opinion.

Technology
Use synonyms
 is something very important in recent
life
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
 still there are a lot of
people
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who argues
show examples
argues
Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
show examples
 about that, one group believes that
technology
Use synonyms
 has negative effects on our
life
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think the
opposed of
Correct your spelling
opposite
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
which is it has a better effect on our
life
Use synonyms
 and made it
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
, and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with
this
Linking Words
. in terms of
people
Use synonyms
 who think that
technology
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
, they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
probably
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different reasons for that which is online
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 and even exams.
for example
Linking Words
, because of
Correct article usage
the COVID
show examples
COVID 19
Add a hyphen
COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic
technology
Use synonyms
 made our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 much easier and
smooth
Replace the word
smoother
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when we can study and
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
Add an article
the exam
show examples
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
 from the comfort of our
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
, and that's what
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with, the uncomplicated system of
technology
Use synonyms
now-days
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
 made our
life
Use synonyms
 more flexible.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, the
disadvantage
Replace the word
disadvantageous
show examples
 effect that some
people
Use synonyms
 believe on
technology
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 many reasons one of them
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
is that it can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our time management, because we are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
busy and always
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rushing,
this
Linking Words
 could be a significant problem.
for instance
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have a friend who lost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 her time because of
this
Linking Words
 issue and she could
be agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 group who
find
Correct subject-verb agreement
finds
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 negative and useless. in conclusion, there are two
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 opinion on
technology
Use synonyms
, the one who which i agree with them saying that it is flexible because of the
COVID 19
Add a hyphen
COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic and it shows
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us the power of it.
in contrast
Linking Words
, the second group
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
 that
technology
Use synonyms
complicated
Add a missing verb
is complicated
show examples
 and has fallout because of the loss of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
 time management.

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Introduction
Try to start your essay with a clearer introduction that outlines the arguments you will discuss. Although you have introduced the main topic, organizing your introduction with a stronger thesis statement can enhance clarity.
Grammar
Be more consistent in your use of tense and subject-verb agreement, e.g., "people argues" should be "people argue." These small errors can detract from the clarity of your writing.
Conclusion
Provide a clearer conclusion that not only restates the main points but also offers some insight or final thoughts. Make sure your conclusion ties back to your thesis in a meaningful way.
Coherence
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Adding linking words and phrases can help improve the flow of your essay.
Examples
Consider providing more specific evidence or examples when discussing how technology affects time management. This could make your argument stronger.
Task achievement
You have made a good effort to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the essay topic.
Examples
Your example about online classes during the COVID-19 pandemic is relevant and specific, which supports your argument about the benefits of technology.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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