IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Instructions Read the question below and write an opinion essay.
You should spend no more than 40 minutes on this task.
Remember to write down a clear thesis statement followed by your essay plan.
Only then attempt to write this essay. One way to reduce the problem of traffic congestion is by increasing the tax on private vehicles.
Do you think this is a feasible solution?

#instructions #minutes #thesis #plan #attempt #traffic #congestion #tax #vehicles
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, more people own private vehicles which creates
traffic
 issues. Many people believe that
traffic
 congestion can be reduced by imposing heavy
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 on these vehicles.
This
 essay will discuss
this
 view in detail and will explain why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that better infrastructure is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant solution. Imposing high
tax
 can be beneficial temporarily for
traffic congested
Add a hyphen
traffic-congested
show examples
 areas. People will switch to public transport to avoid paying these fines which in turn cannot only
improvise
Verb problem
improve
show examples
 the
traffic
 jams
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but will be advantageous for the environment.
Furthermore
, a large number of accidents can be avoided with
this
 step.
For instance
, many
Europeon
Correct your spelling
European
 countries offer free public transport in order to get rid of heavy
traffic
 on
roads
 and the number of accidents.
However
,
this
 initiative would attract more public.
Consequently
,
tax
 can create changes to some extent which will help in
traffic
 reduction. The other solution to overcome
this
 problem permanently is by building
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better infrastructure. More
roads
 will
acommodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 more
traffic
. Plenty of cars on
roads
 create
burden
Add an article
a burden
show examples
 for
traffic
 wardens. It becomes unlikely to control
these conveyence
Change the determiner
this conveyence
show examples
. A good illustration of
this
 is the
roads
 of Islamabad, Pakistan. They are wider in structure and facilitate many vehicles. Building
roads
 is beneficial in the long run .
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should establish
roads
 with the
tax
 money of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 which can be
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilised
show examples
 for their own betterment. In conclusion, putting
heavy
Add an article
a heavy
show examples
tax
 on private transport cannot work in the long run
whereas
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
 my opinion, a
longterm
Correct your spelling
long-term
show examples
 plan like improved infrastructure can act as a game changer.
Submitted by georgeanum650 on

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task achievement
Work on using more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and relatable to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent use of advanced vocabulary and aim for varied and sophisticated transitions between ideas to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
You clearly present a thesis statement and a well-structured argument, with an introduction and conclusion that's compelling and relevant.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt effectively and provides a well-rounded opinion with both sides of the argument considered.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • **Traffic congestion**: The heavy build-up of vehicles on roadways, leading to slower speeds and longer trip times.
  • **Disincentive**: A factor, usually a financial penalty or restriction, that discourages a particular behavior or action.
  • **Public transportation**: Systems of buses, trains, subways, and other forms of transportation that operate on a scheduled basis and are available to the general public.
  • **Greenhouse gas emissions**: Gases released into the atmosphere from vehicles, factories, and other sources that contribute to the greenhouse effect and global warming.
  • **Carpooling**: The practice of sharing a car ride with one or more people to reduce the number of vehicles on the road.
  • **Telecommuting**: Working remotely, often from home, using digital communication tools instead of commuting to a physical workspace.
  • **Revenue**: The income generated from taxation or other sources that can be used by governments for public projects.
  • **Equity**: Fairness or justice in the way people are treated, often with a focus on ensuring equal opportunities for all individuals.
  • **Infrastructure**: The physical and organizational structures needed for the operation of a society, including transportation systems, communication networks, and utilities.
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