Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing

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There is no denying the fact that finding a suitable
life
rhythm is crucial.
While
it is commonly held belief that routines are important in
maintain
Change the verb form
maintaining
show examples
rhythm, there is
also
an argument that getting out and exploring new activities has
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
advantage.
This
essay will analyze both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
and express my opinion. On one hand, many
people
believe that being in a
well-schedule
Correct your spelling
well-scheduled
show examples
life
is beneficial. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
show examples
,
this
group claimed that by doing
this
you will well control your
life
.
In addition
, if you are doing
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
things during your
life
, you will know your risks and you will be able to get over
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For example
, these
people
will be slightly
restricting
Wrong verb form
restricted
show examples
to their timeframe, and they will not accept any additional task that
prevent
Change the verb form
prevents
show examples
them from
commitment
Replace the word
committing
show examples
to their time schedule. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, many
people
believe that having a flexible
life
and always changing have a great effect on yourself. It is
also
possible to say that these
people
are more
courage
Replace the word
courageous
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to tackle any new
challenging
Replace the word
challenge
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
that arise
show examples
arise
Correct subject-verb agreement
arises
show examples
in their professional
life
.
For instance
, if they have a new rise issue in the work suddenly, they will handle it rapidly and will be able to manage it successfully.
Moreover
, these
group
Change the determiner
groups
show examples
believe that by always changing your
life
and experiencing new things you will enhance your brain and your cognitive skills. In conclusion, there is no
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
easy answer to
this
question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that changing
life
is a great way to enhance your ability and it is an exciting way to learn new tasks.
Submitted by jo on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly to enhance coherence. For example, using linking words or phrases can help connect your ideas and arguments more clearly.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully developed with relevant and specific examples to back up your argument.
coherence cohesion
You've presented a clear introduction and conclusion, laying a good foundation for your essay structure.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument which demonstrates a balanced approach to the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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