‏chool children are becoming far too dependant on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. ‏ Do you agree or disagree?

#‏chool #children #dependant #computers #effect #skills #teachers #classroom #costs #study

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

‏In recent years there

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

been a frequently discussed issue of whether allowing student to use

Use synonyms

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

, or whether it affects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their writing and reading skills. I firmly agree that it is

benefit

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

for

pupiles

Correct your spelling

pupils

and there is no risk

Change preposition

for

show examples

reading and writing skills.

This

Linking Words

essay will explore

this

Linking Words

phenomenon in more detail, supported by relevant examples. ‏ ‏

To begin

Linking Words

citics

Correct your spelling

critics

contend that the use of the

computer

Use synonyms

has been linked to many health issues. If people depend on

Use synonyms

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

, definitely they will suffer from eye strain and obesity. My friend Fatma,

for

Linking Words

example

Add the comma(s)

example,

show examples

studied

online

Correct article usage

an online

show examples

course for one year which

make

Wrong verb form

made

show examples

her now

faces

Correct subject-verb agreement

face

show examples

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

overweigh

Correct your spelling

overweight

show examples

disease.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

might increase the level of depression and anxiety. ‏

On the other hand

Linking Words

, exposing individuals to using

Use synonyms

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

undeniable benefits.

Students

Use synonyms

are able to read and write more efficiently.

For instance

Linking Words

, a study conducted at Glasgow University,

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

illustrates that 90% of

students

Use synonyms

who read from

Use synonyms

computer

Add an article

the computer

a computer

show examples

are

aquiring

Correct your spelling

acquiring

many features

such

Linking Words

as flexibility where they can read or write at any time. So, it boosts a

safety

Replace the word

safe

show examples

environment and increases

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

academic performance.

Linking Words

Further more

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

show examples

,There is a growing preference among the population for online materials. The outcomes of

Use synonyms

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

are not limited only to

students

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

have a profound impact on their

future's

Change noun form

future

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

. A good example here is writing a

reseach

Correct your spelling

research

that contributes to

l improve

Wrong verb form

improving

show examples

some skills like high speed in writing.

Therefore

Linking Words

pupiles

Correct your spelling

pupils

can

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

easly

Correct your spelling

easily

write

Change preposition

show examples

the

computer

Use synonyms

during his work in future. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

there are some negative consequences.I strongly agree that

Add a verb

it is

it was

show examples

helpful and beneficial for people.

Therefore

Linking Words

, encouraging individuals to engage in using

Use synonyms

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

can

enhances

Wrong verb form

enhance

show examples

their growing performance. Governments and institutions should create opportunities for

students

Use synonyms

to use

modoren

Correct your spelling

modern

methods like

Use synonyms

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

Submitted by 13570581 on Sat Dec 14 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to present a balanced argument. While your essay agrees with the use of computers, addressing counterpoints more comprehensively could strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Ensure that all examples are directly linked to your main argument. For example, elaborate on how dependence on computers can positively or negatively affect specific reading and writing skills.

coherence cohesion

Some points seem not fully developed. Try to further elaborate on the 'safety environment' and how it directly contributes to reading and writing skills.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the tone and summarizing the argument effectively.

task achievement

Your essay offers relevant examples that generally support your main points.

coherence cohesion

You managed to introduce and counter the opposite argument before supporting your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

295 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Scientists have been warning for many years that to protect the environment, we have to limit the use of energy in a daily lives. Despite warning many people do not attention to this. What are the reasons for this and how can people be encouraged to save the environment?
lthough the public has been alarmed by experts to save the environment as much as theydo, a lot of people do not pay any attention. In this essay, the reasons for this will be illustrated in addition to some solutions in order to be aware of these consequences for humans in the long run.
5.5
band
Some parents send their children to preschool when they are three or four years old. Other parents wait until their children are old enough for primary school before they send them to school. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of sending children to preschool at a young age.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is the point of view, that society is divided into two groups. While first prefer to send kids to preschool organizations as soon as possible at nearly three or four years old, others tend to think the kid should be quite old and mature to start learn at preschool courses before primary school. This essay will present the argument in favor of early education.
5.5
band
Some people think I school graduate should travel or work for the period of time instead of going directly to the study at university discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both the approaches. Give reason for your answer and include any of the relevant examples from your own knowledge experience.
Most people think that students should take a break after the completion of their high school to travel or work and start their tertiary education. This essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of this debate.
5.5
band
In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In the current era, many buyers can easily find international food products in a specific section. This results in many advantages for the consumer however there are some disadvantages too. I believe that this development is overwhelmingly positive but some caution should be practiced with it.
4.5
band
Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?
In the epoch, education is vital role in children life, however, many guardians give preference to teach their children at homes rather than choosing education centre for them. according to me demerits outrace of merits, because everyone needs educational environment which parents cannot provide it. i will explain it in upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, one predominate reason for teaching children at their home that is children strengthen their relations with family members. To explicate, if anyone thought by parents at their homes then they can spend their more time with knowperson rather than spending time in schools. Secondly, who child teaches in homeshool. they will more selfdepended in their upcoming life rather than those students who take classes in schools. On the other hand, there is prominent factors which agree with taught should be in schools. Chiefly, homeshool would be negative effect on students manners such as, discipline, how can treat with others and how they ca...

‏chool children are becoming far too dependant on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. ‏ Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Scientists have been warning for many years that to protect the environment, we have to limit the use of energy in a daily lives. Despite warning many people do not attention to this. What are the reasons for this and how can people be encouraged to save the environment?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?