‏chool children are becoming far too dependant on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. ‏ Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
‏In recent years there
have
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has
show examples
been a frequently discussed issue of whether allowing student to use
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
, or whether it affects
on
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apply
show examples
their writing and reading skills. I firmly agree that it is
benefit
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beneficial
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for
pupiles
Correct your spelling
pupils
and there is no risk
on
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for
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reading and writing skills.
This
essay will explore
this
phenomenon in more detail, supported by relevant examples. ‏ ‏
To begin
,
citics
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critics
contend that the use of the
computer
has been linked to many health issues. If people depend on
computer
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computers
show examples
, definitely they will suffer from eye strain and obesity. My friend Fatma,
for
example
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example,
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studied
online
Correct article usage
an online
show examples
course for one year which
make
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made
show examples
her now
faces
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face
show examples
from
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apply
show examples
overweigh
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overweight
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disease.
Consequently
,
this
might increase the level of depression and anxiety. ‏
On the other hand
, exposing individuals to using
computer
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computers
show examples
,
have
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has
show examples
undeniable benefits.
Students
are able to read and write more efficiently.
For instance
, a study conducted at Glasgow University,
which
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apply
show examples
illustrates that 90% of
students
who read from
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
are
aquiring
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acquiring
many features
such
as flexibility where they can read or write at any time. So, it boosts a
safety
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safe
show examples
environment and increases
the
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apply
show examples
academic performance.
Further more
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Furthermore
show examples
,There is a growing preference among the population for online materials. The outcomes of
computer
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computers
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are not limited only to
students
but
also
have a profound impact on their
future's
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future
show examples
job
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jobs
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. A good example here is writing a
reseach
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research
that contributes to
l improve
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improving
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some skills like high speed in writing.
Therefore
,
pupiles
Correct your spelling
pupils
can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
write
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
computer
during his work in future. In conclusion,
while
there are some negative consequences.I strongly agree that
it
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it is
it was
show examples
helpful and beneficial for people.
Therefore
, encouraging individuals to engage in using
computer
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computers
show examples
can
enhances
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enhance
show examples
their growing performance. Governments and institutions should create opportunities for
students
to use
modoren
Correct your spelling
modern
methods like
computer
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computers
show examples
.
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task achievement
Try to present a balanced argument. While your essay agrees with the use of computers, addressing counterpoints more comprehensively could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that all examples are directly linked to your main argument. For example, elaborate on how dependence on computers can positively or negatively affect specific reading and writing skills.
coherence cohesion
Some points seem not fully developed. Try to further elaborate on the 'safety environment' and how it directly contributes to reading and writing skills.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the tone and summarizing the argument effectively.
task achievement
Your essay offers relevant examples that generally support your main points.
coherence cohesion
You managed to introduce and counter the opposite argument before supporting your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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