Some people believe all the company decisions should be taken by the managers, whereas others think it is better to include employee while making decisions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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On
Change the preposition
In
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my opinion the manager
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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to discuss everything it will
gives
Wrong verb form
give
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solutions and views better to the problem or anything other
on
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apply
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that it's hard to take everything on the manager and talk to employees to ensure their growth
the
Correct word choice
and the
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company
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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he put on suctions is hard to take not every manger he can handle anything
And he
Correct word choice
He
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will need
Correct your spelling
discuss
Fix the infinitive
to disucss
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disucss
Correct your spelling
discuss
before
Correct pronoun usage
this before
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made
Wrong verb form
making
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the decisions
But
Correct word choice
On
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on the other hand
must
Verb problem
apply
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the manager should take care of everything and take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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responsibility And prepared the handle any situation and solve any problem In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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I see talking with employees
is
Correct your spelling
as
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growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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the
Change preposition
of the
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company and
makes
Wrong verb form
making
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better solutions and the team is everything
Submitted by Mohammed on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure. Consider organizing your ideas into distinct paragraphs with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The arguments are not fully developed. Make sure to provide logical arguments and examples to support each point of view.
task achievement
The conclusion is quite brief and could be developed further to summarize the main points and your opinion more effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your essay.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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