The charts below show changes in the proportion of energy produced from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. (Pie chart

#show #changes #proportion #energy #resources #country #information #features #comparisons

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This

Linking Words

pie chart shows information about how percentage of energy made from several different

resources

Use synonyms

in one certain country over the two years 1985 and 2003.

Overall

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, it is noticeable that oil was the most consumed

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resources

Fix the agreement mistake

resource

show examples

throughout the given period.

Moreover

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, the consumption of

nutural

Correct your spelling

natural

gas was greatly considered by residents in the mentioned country,

while

Linking Words

the use of nuclear has decreased over the time period.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the proportion of oil formed

Correct article usage

apply

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about half of the

resources

Use synonyms

produced in a special nation in 1985. Meanwhile, the second biggest figure was nuclear, recording

Change preposition

apply

show examples

under a quarter of the whole proportion by 1985. Interestingly, the figure for hydrogen was not continuously changed during the period and kept

with

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show examples

4% between 1985 and 2003. Regarding the remaining information, the rate of oil was

also

Linking Words

the most considerable

Use synonyms

resources

Fix the agreement mistake

resource

show examples

this

Linking Words

country until 2003 but it made up 39%. The nuclear percentage decreased by 5% compared to the

former

Correct word choice

show examples

year.

By contrast

Linking Words

, the

ration

Correct your spelling

ratio

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of natural gas

were

Change the verb form

was

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increased by less

double

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than double

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, recording the most significant data in 2003. The consumption of coal in the latter year was used

with

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show examples

13%, increasing

also

Linking Words

to 5%.

Submitted by Rndlrdl on Sat Dec 14 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words resources with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

196 words

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