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Band 5.5

In spite of improvement in the healthcare by governments many people in developed countries are suffering from overweight and obesity. What are the causes of this and what other the impacts

#spite #improvement #healthcare #governments #people #countries #obesity #impacts
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It has been proven that most developed countries contain a large number of people suffering from obesity and overweight. The main cause of
this
Linking Words
 problem is the lack of knowledge about
health
Use synonyms
 and its effects. One of the primary reasons that could cause obesity is the huge amount of time spent on any type of electronic device. Over the past few years, many scientists have shown their concerns about the increase in the number of children who have diabetes and other diseases caused by being overweight. There are
also
Linking Words
 multiple issues that come with it,
such
Linking Words
 as insecurity, isolation, and the possibility of being bullied. The most significant consequence,
for instance
Linking Words
, is mental
health
Use synonyms
 and how it can be easily damaged nowadays, especially among young people in general. Growing up in a body
that is
Linking Words
 neither celebrated nor condemned could leave the individual feeling like they don’t belong anywhere.
By
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the end, the lack of knowledge, an ungodly amount of screen time, and simply not caring about your well-being could easily lead to being overweight.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, it highly increases the risk of many types of diseases that could be hard to cope with or heal. To solve
this
Linking Words
 modern problem, there should be more awareness about
health
Use synonyms
, whether it includes physical
health
Use synonyms
 or even mental
health
Use synonyms
, as both can guide you to the same issue: being overweight. The
health
Use synonyms
 industry should
also
Linking Words
 encourage their patients who suffer from
blood
Correct word choice
high blood
show examples
 pressure or diabetes to work out regularly and eat better. There is no need to be strict with the diet to have a better body or
health
Use synonyms
; all it requires is discipline and being familiar with fitness culture.
Submitted by mahaassiri113 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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