Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this?

In today's era of the modern world with technological advancements,

video

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games

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have become more popular among younger ones and

hence

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it is believed that

this

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might be the cause of elevating aggressive behaviour and offence in most urban areas of the globe. I strongly agree with

this

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perspective and more details will be provided in the following paragraphs. To commence with,high-tech

video

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games

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are now available in the market.These

games

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are made upon crime scenarios from movies and with

such

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a high intensity that anyone can be addicted to them.

In addition

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,nowadays companies have specially designed playstations and VR boxes to give a real experience of the game.All these things can affect children’s mental growth.

For example

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,my little brother who recently got a crime

video

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game as a gift is becoming addicted to violent

games

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and if I talk to him

then

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he will discuss the

games

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only.

Moreover

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, kid’s behaviour has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

changed after playing violent

video

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games

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for a long.The main reason given to support

this

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claim is that kids are in their learning phase and their brains are still developing and

this

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stage plays a critical role in children’s

overall

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development.

Firstly

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,they have started to believe that any issue can be solved with weapons like they do in

games

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Secondly

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,they are trying to imitate

Correct article usage

the

show examples

bad words spoken that they learnt

while

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playing.

For instance

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, if we read the latest news

then

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we will get to know that juvenile cases have increased in the

last

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5 years. In a nutshell,

video

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games

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can be used for fun and relaxation but parents need to monitor the game selection done by children.As children may select violent

games

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and ultimately ,

this

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will lead to behavioural change .

pskhandelwal13

Dec 15, 2024

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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