IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of unemployed people aged between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005, compared with the overall percentage of unemployment in those countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of unemployed people aged between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005, compared with the overall percentage of unemployment in those countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
bar
Use synonyms
 chart provides the proportion of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
 population with
range
Correct article usage
a range
show examples
 aged from 15-to-24-year-olds compared to
overall
Linking Words
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 in five different European nations in 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of people aged between 15-24 years old who not working was higher than
overall
Linking Words
unemployment
Use synonyms
 in all five countries, with Poland's rate
showed
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 the most. Looking in more detail, more than 30% of Poland people aged 15-24 years old
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 unemployed, which was 10% higher than
overall
Linking Words
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
. Interestingly, the percentage of
overall
Linking Words
unemployment
Use synonyms
 in Poland had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar data
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 from
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 group age who
still
Add a missing verb
were still
show examples
 unpaid in Italy, accounting for more than a quarter.
However
Linking Words
, in Italy, both categories
differences
Replace the word
differ
show examples
 almost half with the dark blue
bar
Use synonyms
 (15%) less than the light blue
bar
Use synonyms
. During the same time, Denmark's portion experienced the smallest figure in the dark blue
bar
Use synonyms
 with less than 10% even though the proportion of unpaid people aged more than 15 until 24 shared
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 number with
overall
Linking Words
unemployment
Use synonyms
 in Hungary, at 12%. Germany,
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
exhibiting
Wrong verb form
exhibited
show examples
slightly diverse
Replace the word
slight diversity
show examples
 in both categories, recording 22% for certain
aged
Replace the word
ages
show examples
 of unemployed and 2% lower for
overall
Linking Words
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words bar, unemployment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rate
  • youth unemployment
  • overall unemployment
  • comparison
  • percentage
  • aged between
  • economic conditions
  • educational system
  • vocational training
  • long-term impacts
  • policy changes
  • job training programs
  • disparity
  • national unemployment rates
  • European countries
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