Employers should give their staff at least 4 weeks' holiday every year to make them perform better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that
manegers
Correct your spelling
managers

If you don’t want manegers to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

should give
holidays
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to their workers.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it is commonly held belief that the staff should get some vacations minimum 4 weeks, there is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that employers have to give their employees a few
holidays
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with,
holidays
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

somehow
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make

It seems that the verb makes does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the employee
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come

It seems that the verb comes does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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fresh again.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when your worker
got
Wrong verb form
gets

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb got. Consider changing it.

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some
hoildays
Correct your spelling
holidays

If you don’t want hoildays to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

after he
produced
Wrong verb form
produces

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb produced. Consider changing it.

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well, he will come back with more energy and with a clear mind.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, your employee will produce more than before because he or she got some
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to clear their
heads
Fix the agreement mistake
head

It seems that heads may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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properly.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Echiro Oda one of the
gratest
Correct your spelling
greatest

If you don’t want gratest to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

writers of all
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, saw many
complances
Correct your spelling
complaints
compliances
companies

If you don’t want complances to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

from his fans after he published his latest chapters so he
descided
Correct your spelling
decided

If you don’t want descided to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to take a few weeks off.
Then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

when he came back to his work, his next chapters
have
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb have appears to be unnecessary here.

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strongly increased in sales and more people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb have appears to be unnecessary here.

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started to read it again. Another point to consider, giving vacations from
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to your staff will make them admire you more than before. It is possible to say that they will be loyal to you.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they will work harder for the company to grow. For
exmaple
Correct your spelling
example

If you don’t want exmaple to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, in 1995 Omar used to work
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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Burger King and the owner of the
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurant

If you don’t want resturant to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

had
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb had appears to be unnecessary here.

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always gave him
few
Correct article usage
a few

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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holidays
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

during the year
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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when Omar got so many offers
in
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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many places he
descided
Correct your spelling
decided

If you don’t want descided to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to stay in the same
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurant

If you don’t want resturant to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

until he died in 2017. In
counclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion

If you don’t want counclusion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, despite people having different views, I believe that as long as you are the
maneger
Correct your spelling
manager

If you don’t want maneger to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

you should give your employees some week
offs
Replace the word
off

The word offs doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
, because
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

at
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the end it will be beneficial for you and your workers.
Submitted by omaralshrf2 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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