The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work on one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008, Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where refevant.
The bar chart shows the number of workers in five types of work in Australia in 2001 and 2008.
Overall
,while
deals were the highest figure,the average was accounting and nursing,and the smallest was tillage.
To begin
with, in 2001 and in 2008 the highest figures were the same 160-150.000.
In 2008 bookkeeping and patient care were similar about
50.000,in 2001 accounting was 60.000, and nursing was nearly 50.000.Change preposition
by about
While
tillage was the smallest in both years,computing was slightly above average in 2008 just under 80.000, whereas
in 2001 it was just over 40.000. We'll be back in farming in 2001 it was just over 20.000,in 2008 it was just under 0.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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