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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that parent should teach children how to be good members of the society .Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss bought of this argument and give your opinion .

Many factions of the population believe that becoming a lovely member of an association begins with family
and
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, and
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parents
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 have to teach their
children
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 the
rules
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 of living in
society
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.
However
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, the rest of the people claim that an education system like
school
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 is a more important place to learn
this
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behaviour
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.
This
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 essay will delve into both statements and give my personal idea
at the end
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. A number of bodies have
much
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made a great
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 effort to say
parents
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 are more effective than other options
which
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, which
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 affect
folk's
Check wording
people's
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behaviour
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 in
society
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.
This
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 attitude is pointed out when spending time with
parents
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.
Children
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 spend three-fourths of their time with their families in diverse situations like parks, family gatherings and shopping.
As a result
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, they observe their parent'
behaviour
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 in
society
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which
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, which
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 is
likewise
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 respect for each other, the way of speech and being polite.
Moreover
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, kids at
young
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a young
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ages
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age
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, particularly from 5 to 10, like to repeat their
parent's
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parents'
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behaviour
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.
For example
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, most of the
children
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, especially
boys
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boys,
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 speak
like
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with
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 their father's intonation. Not only does
this
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 show that they tend to behave the same as their
parents
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, but
also
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 they show the same
behaviour
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 in
society
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 as their
parents
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. Others who claim that
school
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 is a good place for learning things to be a good person in
civilization
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civilisation
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,
emphasize
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emphasise
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it
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that it
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 is not related to
parents
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and
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, and
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 the best way is the
school
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's
rules
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. Sometimes schools have strict
rules
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 that pupils have to obey. Over time, these
rules
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 sit in their brain
and
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, and
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 they become a kind of unconscious.
For example
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, staying in the queue without cheating
,
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apply
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 develops their respect for the nation in other parts of the union.
In addition
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, schools are a small part of a union where teachers can simulate a larger
society
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, teaching them things like discipline and politeness, and asking them to practice with their classmates.
To sum up
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, both sides of these statements are right
and
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, and
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 I suppose the combination of either helps
children
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 to be
pretty
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good
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 members of the community. The general factors
like
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, like
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 staying in the
queue
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queue,
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 are learned in
school
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and
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, and
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 the rest of them
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such
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, such
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 as respect and
politeness
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politeness,
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 are taught to
parents
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.

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planning
Plan your answer first. Make a short plan of main ideas before you write.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea with a clear topic sentence.
content
Give clear reasons and real, simple examples for each point.
content
State your own view clearly in the last part of the essay.
language
Use simple link words to show how ideas fit together, and avoid long, hard sentences.
content
The essay has a real attempt to discuss both sides and to give an opinion.
structure
There are some good linking phrases such as 'however' and 'in addition'.
content
Conclusion shows a view, which is needed in task response.
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