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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in 1996 and 2006 in a country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in 1996 and 2006 in a country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#graphs #show #percentage #films #ticket #sales #country #information #features #comparisons
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The line graphs illustrate the proportion of produced
movies
Use synonyms
 in four genres (
Drama
Use synonyms
,
Comedy
Use synonyms
,
Fantasy
Use synonyms
, & Romance) over a span of ten years, commencing 1996 to 2006 in a certain country.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
this
Linking Words
 country released more
drama
Use synonyms
films
Use synonyms
 as compared to other genres;
however
Linking Words
, in terms of ticket sales,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comedy
Use synonyms
movies
Use synonyms
 had the highest
sold
Correct quantifier usage
number of sold
show examples
 tickets.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the production of
movies
Use synonyms
 in all genres showed
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
 after a
decade
Use synonyms
. d
Use synonyms
Drama
Correct article usage
The drama
show examples
 genre released about 26%
Use synonyms
films
Change preposition
of films
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 was closely followed by
comedy
Use synonyms
 at 20%
while
Linking Words
fantasy
Use synonyms
aromance
Correct your spelling
romance
a romance
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 under 15% in 1996. After a
decade
Use synonyms
,
drama
Use synonyms
fiilms
Correct your spelling
films
 exhibited an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 percentages at 35% , followed by
comedy
Use synonyms
 at 25% and
fantasy
Use synonyms
 at 16.
However
Linking Words
, romantic
films
Use synonyms
 remained relatively stable throughout the period at less than 10%. Despite that more
drama
Use synonyms
films
Use synonyms
 were released,
comedy
Use synonyms
movies
Use synonyms
 sold 20% in 1996 and rose
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 about 23% in the next
decade
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drama
Use synonyms
 sold
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
 at less than 20% in a
decade
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fantasy
Use synonyms
 increased in 2006
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 approximately 7% the romantic
films
Use synonyms
 declined to 2%.
Submitted by roycelparaiso on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, moreover, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words movies, drama, comedy, fantasy, films, decade with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • depict
  • significant increases/decreases
  • highlighting
  • drawing comparisons
  • discrepancies
  • notable trends
  • unexpected findings
  • anomalies
  • phenomenon
  • emphasizing
  • evolution
  • implications
  • producers
  • distributors
  • audiences
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