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Writing Samples
Band 5

In spite of improvement in the healthcare by governments many people in developed countries are suffering from overweight and obesity. What are the causes of this and what other the impacts

#spite #improvement #healthcare #governments #people #countries #obesity #impacts
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One of the most significant
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
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 nowadays is obesity . The government spends a lot of time on ensuring well-being and a good quality of life.
This
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 essay will elucidate the reasons and
consequnces
Correct your spelling
consequences
. To start with , despite
fact
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the fact
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 that shows significant results in the
medecine
Correct your spelling
medicine
, the number of people suffering from excess weight and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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has become
a
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apply
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widespread
between
Change preposition
in
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 different countries. Individuals who get used to
see
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seeing
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 that technology , healthcare and medical specialists become modernized these days , don't care about their visual appearance .
Therefore
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 , they tend to not be fit anymore , thinking that surgery can solve all their problem. Being overweight can lead to serious consequences.
Firstly
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, overweight individuals are more likely to develop chronic health conditions
such
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 as diabetes and heart disease. To prevent
this
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, they should work on losing weight by consulting a nutritionist and following a proper diet plan.
Furthermore
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, being overweight can slow down a person's metabolism.
As a result
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, it may reduce their ability to focus and learn effectively.
For instance
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, students who are overweight often struggle to stay attentive during classes and find it harder to concentrate
while
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 studying. In conclusion, obesity has become a significant issue in developed countries
due to
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 unhealthy habits like poor diets and lack of physical activity.
This
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 contributes to growing healthcare problems and a lower quality of life. To combat
this
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 problem, people should be encouraged to adopt healthier lifestyles, including regular exercise and eating nutritious foods.
Additionally
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, those who are overweight should follow strict diets,
such
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 as low-calorie and low-carb meal plans.
Submitted by salyarzayeva on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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