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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table shows key data on the demographics of four countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows key data on the demographics of four countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#data #demographics #four #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The table compares
thedemographic
Correct your spelling
the demographic
the demographics
 data that
related
Add a missing verb
is related
show examples
 to the biggest four countries in the world.
Firstly
Linking Words
, China has a huge
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population count
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 1,357,000,000
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to others ,
such
Linking Words
 as the UK
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 64,937,000 which means it is less than half of
China
Change noun form
China's
show examples
populatio
Correct your spelling
population
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
USA
have
Change the verb form
has
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 the highest number of GDP per Capita 53,681 on the opposite side China have 6,807.
Lastly
Linking Words
, The country that has
most
Correct word choice
the highest
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 average life expectancy is
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 81.5 and it is less
in
Change preposition
than
show examples
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. In conclusion, Bigger countries space
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a large number in
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is no huge gap in the average life expectancy of these countries.
Submitted by kaldsalajmi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic metrics
  • age distribution
  • urbanization levels
  • population growth rates
  • life expectancy
  • birth rates
  • immigration policies
  • economic development
  • geographical size
  • historical factors
  • health care systems
  • infrastructure
  • quality of life
  • proportion
  • population size
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