Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is often argued that
music
has a
power of bringing Correct article usage
the
people
from other nations
and ages together. I strongly agree with the statement because every culture hast
its own Correct your spelling
has
music
style and each decade has different
style of Add an article
a different
music
.
To begin
, every nations
Change to a singular noun
nation
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
different
culture.Because of Add an article
a different
that
there are so many genres of Add a comma
that,
music
all around the world.To elaborate, in United
States rock and roll Correct article usage
the United
music
is really popular. However
, in Correct article usage
the middle
middle east
arabesque kind of Correct your spelling
Middle East
music
is chosen by majority
. Namely, Add an article
the majority
music
kinds are different all
parts of the globe.Change preposition
in all
Moreover
, some individuals are curious about different music
styles. For example
, music
festivals are taking
place nearly every year and many Wrong verb form
take
people
find these activities beneficial because they can achieve
knowledge about rare and different cultural Verb problem
acquire
musics
from other Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
nations
.
Also
, every decade has its own music
that goes
popular Verb problem
becomes
Change preposition
for approximative
approximative
all 10 years. To elaborate, in 80Replace the word
approximately
’s
ock
Correct your spelling
rock
music
was really popular at that time. However
, Now it is listened by
middle-aged and elderly Change preposition
to by
people
. Because nowadays
rap Correct word choice
Nowadays
music
is chosen by majority
of Add an article
a majority
the majority
people
. In spite of these changes
many Add a comma
changes,
music
bands broke up.For
example
Queen was Add a comma
example,
really
popular rock band in Add an article
a really
Correct article usage
the 70’s
70
Fix apostrophe usage
’70s
’s
and 80
Fix apostrophe usage
’80s
’s
. However
in the beginning of 90’s
the band broke up because they lost interest.
In conclusion, music
has a
power Correct article usage
the
of bonding
other Change preposition
to bond
nations
and ages together. Because there is
different genres of Change the verb form
are
music
all around the world and every 10 year
the popular Change to a plural noun
years
music
style gets changed. Not last
but also
, I think music
has
a strong factor Verb problem
is
for
bringing other nationalities and ages togetherChange preposition
in
Submitted by mcqueensever
on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite