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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problem can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

#people #difficulties #lack
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Sleep deprivation has become an increasingly modern issue in today's world.
This
 essay will explore both
problems
which are
Verb problem
that
show examples
resulted
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less
amount
 of sleep
time
 and possible solutions to
lack
 of sleep. There might be many
problems
 which can be caused by less sleep times. One of which is mental health
problems
. Some
people
 suffer from making decisions and doing the right work during the day. Since they do not sleep enough.
For instance
, there was a study
which did
Wrong verb form
done
show examples
 between two groups of
people
, and
people
 who have
lack
 of sleep could not complete mathematical tasks,
while
people
 who
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough
amount
 of sleep
time
 performed the best grades. The students who could not perform
task
Add an article
the task
show examples
 were struggling with deciding between correct and incorrect answers.
Therefore
, sleep is
also
 crucial for mental health
Moreover
,
lack
 of sleep makes
people
 nervous, as they cannot relax during
night
Add an article
the night
show examples
.
This
, in turn, not
does
Verb problem
apply
show examples
only
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
people
's behavior, but their productivity
also
 suffers.
Since if
Correct word choice
If
show examples
 they are angry, they cannot do
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 or they do less work than usual. So, well and enough sleep is important. To tackle the issue of
lack
 of sleep, there are some measurable solutions. First and foremost, individuals who have that problem should organize
schedule
Add an article
a schedule
the schedule
show examples
 for sleeping. Some
people
 must go to bed and get up at the same
time
 every day
along with
 7-8 hours of sleep.
Furthermore
, they have to eliminate the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of naps
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they take during the daytime
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since they have a profound impact
to go
Change preposition
on going
show examples
 to bed on
time
. If someone takes a number of naps during the day, they might feed with sleep and go to bed late.
Also
, if they exercise, it cannot be harmful to
hours
Correct article usage
the hours
show examples
 they sleep, because there is a fact that exercises help well-organized sleep hours. In conclusion,
while
this
 essay provided some
problems
 including mental health issues and bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 which are generated by sleep deprivation, it
also
 gives some methods for eliminating
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less
amount
 of sleep
time
.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Insomnia
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Sleep disorders
  • Sleep quality
  • Fatigue
  • Exhaustion
  • Restless
  • Restorative sleep
  • REM sleep
  • Circadian rhythm
  • Sleep hygiene
  • Napping
  • Sleep duration
  • Melatonin
  • Sleep-inducing
  • Drowsiness
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Obstructive sleep apnea
  • Snoring
  • Sleepwalking
  • Sleep talking
  • Shift work
  • Sleeping pills
  • Sleep aid
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Meditation
  • Deep breathing
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