IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting important feature

The chart below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting important feature
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #information #feature
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts give
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 about the rate of
water
 used in six regions of the world for many aims.
Overall
,agricultural
use
 made up the biggest part of the chart in four areas and industrial
use
 in the two remaining areas. In South
America
,Africa,Central Asia and South East Asia,agriculture contributes the most to
water
 consumption (from 71% to 88% in the four zones) whilst the industries made the lowest contribution,approximately 5%
to12
Correct your spelling
to 12
%. Domestic purposes consume
water
 at an average rate,
7
Change preposition
of 7
show examples
%,9%,15% and 19% respectively in South East and Central Asia,Africa,
Europe
,
South
Correct word choice
and South
show examples
America
.
However
,in North
America
 and
Europe
Add a comma
Europe,
show examples
 it is the industrial
use
 that made up the biggest part of the chart with respectively 48% and 53%. Following it,there is agricultural
use
 that
occupy
Change the verb form
occupies
show examples
 32% in
Europe
 and 39% in North
America
.
Lastly
,domestic
use
 contributes the least to
water
 consumption with 13% and 15% respectively in North
America
 and
Europe
.
Submitted by sawadogofarida90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, america, europe with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: