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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting important feature

The chart below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting important feature
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #information #feature
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The pie charts give
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 about the rate of
water
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 used in six regions of the world for many aims.
Overall
Linking Words
,agricultural
use
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 made up the biggest part of the chart in four areas and industrial
use
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 in the two remaining areas. In South
America
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,Africa,Central Asia and South East Asia,agriculture contributes the most to
water
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 consumption (from 71% to 88% in the four zones) whilst the industries made the lowest contribution,approximately 5%
to12
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to 12
%. Domestic purposes consume
water
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 at an average rate,
7
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of 7
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%,9%,15% and 19% respectively in South East and Central Asia,Africa,
Europe
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,
South
Correct word choice
and South
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America
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.
However
Linking Words
,in North
America
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 and
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Europe
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Europe,
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 it is the industrial
use
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 that made up the biggest part of the chart with respectively 48% and 53%. Following it,there is agricultural
use
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 that
occupy
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occupies
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 32% in
Europe
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 and 39% in North
America
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.
Lastly
Linking Words
,domestic
use
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 contributes the least to
water
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 consumption with 13% and 15% respectively in North
America
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 and
Europe
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.
Submitted by sawadogofarida90 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, america, europe with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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