IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#countries #university #students #home #study #city
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Students
 in some societies prefer to study in their home town
while
 others are eager to leave their homes in order to experience other cities. I utterly believe the advantages of studying away from the family are more than its negative points. Entering university at the age of 18-19,
students
 are living the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of their adulthood which is presented by the need to be independent. The main benefit of studying at universities out of the home city is the obligation to live on their own. It means that being away from
the
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their
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 parents
mandate
Correct subject-verb agreement
mandates
show examples
 them to find a way to
independency
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independence
show examples
.
For instance
, the new
students
 should cook, do house chores and deal with
land lords
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landlords
show examples
 by themselves. They suddenly find
themselve
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themselves
floated
Wrong verb form
floating
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 lonely in the ocean of social
enviroment
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environment
 with various challenges that should be addressed
indepedently
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independently
.So, it is the best way to grow social skills internally. Living in a new city
provide
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provides
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 invaluable opportunities to get
familier
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familiar
 with new cultures. Struggling to
adopt
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adapt
show examples
with
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to
show examples
new
Correct article usage
a new
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life style
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lifestyle
show examples
, people learn how to cope with extraordinary situations in their life.
For example
,
students
 should learn how to respect the lifestyle of the host inhabitants including how they dress, speak or even eat.
As a
result
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result,
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this
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these
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 challenges nurture the psychosocial aspects of individuals personalities. Some people may think , studying at
hometwon
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home
 universities would cost less as they do not need to be concerned about
accomodation
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accommodation
 and food.
Also
 , they may be worried about
loosening
Add an article
the loosening
a loosening
show examples
 of family bonds.
However
 ,
this
 mindset should be refuted because
although
 it may seem more expensive and terrifying for
famillies
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families
, the experiences which one can achieve in other cities are priceless.
Additionaly
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Additionally
, the distance in turn
work
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works
show examples
 reversibly and
tighten
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tightens
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 family relations.
Overall
,
although
 a minority may prefer not to exit their safety zones, i.e home town, studying
at
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in
show examples
 a novel
enviroment
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environment
 can benefit new adults regarding
independency
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independence
show examples
 and personality growth.
Submitted by drmmdi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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