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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutirents, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The pie charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutirents, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
#show #percentages #meals #three #nutirents
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The given pie charts provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information regarding three
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of
ingredents
Correct your spelling
ingredients
that is
Linking Words
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat and added sugar which may have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 health if they
consumes
Change the verb form
consume
show examples
 more than
normal
Add an article
the normal
show examples
 amount. It is described by the chart that the similar percentage of
sodium
Use synonyms
 taken by the consumers in breakfast and snacks
14
Add a missing verb
is 14
show examples
%.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to saturated fat
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 about two fifth (37%)
Change preposition
of nutirents
show examples
nutirents
Correct your spelling
nutrients
eaten
Add a missing verb
are eaten
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
dinner
Use synonyms
follwed
Correct your spelling
followed
 by 21% in snacks and 26
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in lunch as well.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 more than
two fifth
Add a hyphen
two-fifth
show examples
 added sugar was consumed in snacks by
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 characterized by 23% in
dinner
Use synonyms
 and
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 about a fifth
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in lunch.
Moreover
Linking Words
, alike saturated fat and added sugar
ingested
Add a missing verb
are ingested
show examples
 in
braekfast
Correct your spelling
breakfast
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
 proportion of
sodium
Use synonyms
 was swallowed in
dinner
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as 43%.
overall
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
nutirents
Correct your spelling
nutrients
 were eaten
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
dinner
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of others.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the lowest proportion can
Add a missing verb
be seem
show examples
seem
Correct your spelling
seen
show examples
 in breakfast of
sodium
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kaurinderpreet64 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, dinner with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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