young people in the workforce are changing their jobs or career every a few years. What do you think are the reasons? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days ,
young
Add an article
the young

The noun phrase young generation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
generation in the workforce
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is

It seems that the verb are does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
altering their
jobs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or career
options
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

after
few
Correct article usage
a few

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
years . The main reasons behind
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject reasons. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
better career opportunities
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

better pay amount. There are more benefits of changing
jobs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

than drawbacks that will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs . Why young people are more inclined towards changing their
jobs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

after some years
.
Change the punctuation
?

The punctuation mark may be incorrect here. Consider changing it.

show examples
First
Correct article usage
The first

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
and Foremost reason behind
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is better
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

opportunities . Because , after doing work for three to four years in
same
Change the article
the same

It appears that the phrase same field does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

show examples
field , they find it quite dull and boring as well . To enhance their creativity level
along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

new
Fix the agreement mistake
skills

It seems that skill may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills

It seems that skill may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
, they
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
Wrong verb form
try

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb trying. Consider changing it.

show examples
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
to change it with the passage of
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. So ,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

would be the main reason
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
changing career
options
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for young ones .
The another
Remove the article
Another

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article The before another. Consider deleting the article.

show examples
reason
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
changing
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

options
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
case
Correct article usage
the case

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
of younger generations within
Add an article
a

The noun phrase timely manner seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
timely manner is
well -paid
Correct your spelling
well-paid

The word well -paid seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

salary . Nowadays , young
employess
Correct your spelling
employees

If you don’t want employess to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their workplaces not only try to gain more experience but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

learn something new on a daily basis ,because when they
applied
Wrong verb form
apply

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb applied. Consider changing it.

show examples
for
another
Replace the adjective
another job
other jobs

The adjective another appears to be modifying the plural noun jobs. Consider replacing it with the adjective other.

show examples
jobs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on various online platforms
Such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that the comma after Such as is unnecessary. Consider removing it.

show examples
Indeed or
Linkedln
Correct your spelling
Linked

If you don’t want Linkedln to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. So , at that
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

they are able to find
jobs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with the high pay rate and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they decide to leave that
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, changing
jobs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

after some
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time

It seems that times may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
can create problems not only for the
employess
Correct your spelling
employees

If you don’t want employess to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

because they find
hard
Correct pronoun usage
it hard

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
to settle themselves in the new environment with new work ethics but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

employer
Change preposition
for employer

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
to spend their productive
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to give
Change the verb form
giving

To give doesn’t seem to work here.

show examples
training to these new
employess
Correct your spelling
employees

If you don’t want employess to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. In Conclusion ,
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there are some drawbacks
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
changing
jobs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

within
less
Fix the agreement mistake
a shorter

It seems that less may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

period but benefits can not be neglected . In my opinion , there are more benefits in changing
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

options
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as it gives us the opportunity to experience new challenges and get a chance to earn
higher
Add an article
a higher

The noun phrase higher salary seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
salary with
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
renowned organization .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: