IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

young people in the workforce are changing their jobs or career every a few years. What do you think are the reasons? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #workforce #jobs #career #years
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These days ,
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation in the workforce
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 altering their
jobs
 or career
options
 after
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 years . The main reasons behind
this
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
better career opportunities
as well as
 better pay amount. There are more benefits of changing
jobs
 than drawbacks that will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs . Why young people are more inclined towards changing their
jobs
 after some years
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 and Foremost reason behind
this
 is better
job
 opportunities . Because , after doing work for three to four years in
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 field , they find it quite dull and boring as well . To enhance their creativity level
along with
 new
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, they
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 to change it with the passage of
time
 . So ,
this
 would be the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 changing career
options
 for young ones .
The another
Remove the article
Another
show examples
 reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 changing
job
options
 in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of younger generations within
Add an article
a
show examples
timely manner is
well -paid
Correct your spelling
well-paid
show examples
job
 salary . Nowadays , young
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their workplaces not only try to gain more experience but
also
 learn something new on a daily basis ,because when they
applied
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
 for
another
Replace the adjective
another job
other jobs
show examples
jobs
 on various online platforms
Such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Indeed or
Linkedln
Correct your spelling
Linked
. So , at that
time
 they are able to find
jobs
 with the high pay rate and
then
 they decide to leave that
job
 .
However
 , changing
jobs
 after some
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 can create problems not only for the
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
 because they find
hard
Correct pronoun usage
it hard
show examples
 to settle themselves in the new environment with new work ethics but
also
employer
Change preposition
for employer
show examples
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 to spend their productive
time
to give
Change the verb form
giving
show examples
 training to these new
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
. In Conclusion ,
Although
 there are some drawbacks
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 changing
jobs
 within
less
Fix the agreement mistake
a shorter
show examples
time
 period but benefits can not be neglected . In my opinion , there are more benefits in changing
job
options
 as it gives us the opportunity to experience new challenges and get a chance to earn
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 salary with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 renowned organization .
Submitted by hk356645 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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