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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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A country generally has large
areas
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, and most of them are divided into smaller regions like
cities
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, suburbs, and countryside. I personally think
,
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apply
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 the different conditions between
areas
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 make
people
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 tend to think that moving into
cities
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 is a great option
for
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because
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 it has better conditions for living, mobilities, work opportunities, and entertainment.
This
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 phenomenon would decrease the number of
people
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 living in isolated
areas
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. Among the downsides, the phenomenon of
people
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 moving into
cities
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 will create a competitive environment. An increasing population in
cities
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 makes it harder for them to find a proper place to
livein
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live in
, increasing the cost of living, having smaller chances of getting jobs, and increasing percentages of criminality as the job opportunities and regions are not growing. Decreasing the population will make it harder to develop countryside
areas
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 because there will be not enough
people
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 to contribute.
Otherwise
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, I would say that the benefit of equal development of the country is far superior to focusing only on developing a specific area. They will have affordable options for living, and they do not need to move to another place,
and
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apply
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equal development would make them stay in their
areas
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.
Moreover
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, it has advantages for tourist attractions, and there will be many choices of entertainment.
To conclude
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, I personally think that equality in developing countries has more advantages, in order to maintain the distribution of
people
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 in some
areas
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.

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples to support your points, especially regarding the benefits of urbanization and its impact on rural areas.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the clarity of your paragraphs by using clearer topic sentences and transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion, which is essential for the task.
coherence and cohesion
You've highlighted some important points about urbanization and its impact on rural areas, showcasing your understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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