The amount of time spend on sports and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest ?

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These days, the rate of time
spend
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spent
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on sports and exercise
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
be rose
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rise
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in schools in order to solve the problem of overweight students. So, I think
this
is not
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
way to
behave
Verb problem
deal
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with the problem. In
this
essay, I am going to discuss
this
point and give my own
suggest
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suggestions
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.
In
Change preposition
On
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the one hand,
childern
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children
need motivation to decline their
weight
, if they take extra
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
to do sports at school, they will be unactive, because they
feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
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shy
front
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in front
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their
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of their
show examples
teachers and
frindes
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friends
, so when they
got
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get
show examples
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
from their parents, they can do any exercises they want, their parents help them to eat healthy food and follow them.
For example
, they
making
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make
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timetable
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timetables
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to do sports and what they need
of
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for
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food.
Also
, they
encourge
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encourage
them , when they
feeling
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feel
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boring
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bored
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from
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with
show examples
diet
Correct article usage
the diet
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system,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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motivating
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motivate
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they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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always, by giving any thing they love,
such
as chocolate and gifts as one open day to eat any
thig
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thing
show examples
they want.
On the other hand
, fathers and mothers can understand their kids what they need for
loosing
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losing
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overweight,
due to
thay
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they
live with them
at
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in
show examples
the same house, and they
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
knowledge about their health, so they will support them to decrease their
weight
.
Moreover
, there are some of
Correct your spelling
solutions
sulations
Add an article
the sulations
show examples
to help
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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to lose
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
weight
,
firstly
, parents should sit with their children and discuss with them
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the risks of overweight, and
also
tell them about
kind
Correct article usage
the kind
show examples
of
Correct your spelling
diseases
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
that overweight
is causes
Change the verb form
is caused
is causing
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them, in
this
Correct your spelling
discussion
discuussion
Correct your spelling
discussion
will know them about all things about
dangerouse
Correct your spelling
dangerous
of overweight, so they will become ready to apply the diet system and they will be happy when they have
lose
Change the verb form
lost
show examples
weight
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackle the problem
  • overweight children
  • increase physical activity
  • healthier lifestyle
  • calorie intake
  • weight management
  • overall well-being
  • active and health-conscious generation
  • nutritional education
  • school curriculums
  • healthy food choices
  • promote a healthy lifestyle
  • implementing policies
  • unhealthy food options
  • reinforce healthy eating habits
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