IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
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While
 some people believe
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 students should be able to choose their
subjects
 based on their
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 only, others argue that the focus should be on
subjects
 that are beneficial for the world’s
future
 development, which are science and
technology
. Though
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
 has
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future
 growth, I believe that study should be based on personal
interest
 rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public need. On the one hand, universities contribute greatly
in
Change preposition
to
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 the
world’
Change noun form
world’s
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 growth in improvement in many
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
show examples
.
For example
, medical
researches
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research
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 and experiments that enhance new medication or surgical
technology
 to improve people’s health and cure fatal illnesses.
Additionally
, food science studies have put in great effort in food preservation or to enhance crops growing in quality and quantity to meet the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 population growth in the world.
Also
, researches in
technology
 development in internet and mobile devices studies
also
 play an important role in enhancing communication effectiveness among people.
Therefore
, there is no doubt that
subjects
 like science and
technology
 have offered massively in our
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 lives and it is important to have more
university
 students get trained in these areas to improve the quality of
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
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 in general.
On the other hand
, I believe that personal
interest
 should be the priority for
individual
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an individual
the individual
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 to choose their area of study in
university
. One of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 to support
this
 idea is the motivation
of studying
Change preposition
to study
show examples
,
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 would
be failed
Wrong verb form
fail
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 if they are done by students
who’s
Unnecessary verb
who
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 lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
interest
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the topic.
In addition
,
subjects
 that are seen as less useful,
such
 as arts and history,
also
played
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 an important role in our culture and personal values.
For instance
, arts like painting, crafting or writing, encourage
ones’
Change noun form
one’s
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 emotional health and confidence.
Moreover
, we understand
values
Correct article usage
the values
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 and meaning of our culture by studying history, and
to learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
 what is right and wrong from our ancestors’ past
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
.
To conclude
,
although
 it’s essential to allocate resources in areas that
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 with our
future
 development, I think all
subjects
 in the
university
 are important to develop, not only the
subjects
 that are seen as having more contribution to our
future
.
Submitted by kittycwy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
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