IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Composing spends millions each year on advertising online, in magazine and on billboards. These adverts can encourage people to buy goods they do not really need. What are the positive and negative effects of consumerism?

#millions #year #magazine #billboards #adverts #people #goods #effects #consumerism
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Investing too much
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 advertising each year
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to buy stuff which they do not consume in their life. I believe
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 action
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 much more
overweight
Correct word choice
obvious
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 than the disadvantages. Advertising
is play
Change the verb form
plays
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 a critical role in
selling
Correct article usage
the selling
show examples
 section of one
company
Use synonyms
 and it requires a high understanding of social life. The first drawback is,
if
Correct word choice
that if
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 the
advertiser
Use synonyms
do
Verb problem
is
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 not very familiar with the
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
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 of
people
Use synonyms
, it could cause financial
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 for the
company
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 negative aspect
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that is
Linking Words
Use synonyms
advertiser
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisers
show examples
 must
be upgrade
Change the verb form
upgrade
show examples
 themselves with the newest trend. They should design and use recent
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 in their advertising to attract
people
Use synonyms
 because these days the competition is extremely tough and if they
will
Verb problem
do
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 not work wisely, they lose all their
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 path.
However
Linking Words
, I consider that it has positive aspects too. With composing millions on advertising,
Use synonyms
advertiser
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisers
show examples
 can produce a very
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
design which it can attract
people
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, most of them
encourage
Wrong verb form
are encouraged
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 to buy
that
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 things
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 that moment and others keep that information in their mind very unconsciously.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when they consider that
product
Use synonyms
 as their need, they choose that
company
Use synonyms
 without any doubt. Another
benefits
Replace the adjective
benefit
show examples
 of
that is
Linking Words
level
Correct article usage
the level
show examples
 of advertising can give it value. When a
product
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
is render
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render
Wrong verb form
rendered
show examples
 with
good
Add an article
a good
the good
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 actor or in
Add an article
a high
show examples
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
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 place, the deduction of
people
Use synonyms
 from
that is
Linking Words
 the
product
Use synonyms
if
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 very fulfilling. So, by spending
money
Use synonyms
 on a
product
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
advertiser
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisers
show examples
 can give that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better importance.
For instance
Linking Words
, for perfume
Use synonyms
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 like
rare beauty
Correct your spelling
Rare Beauty
show examples
, they use Rihanna as a singer to advertise their products
in addition
Linking Words
 nations keep that brand in their mind as a high-quality item and as soon as they face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their needs they choose that brand. In summary,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that by spending millions
Use synonyms
money
Change preposition
of money
show examples
 on advertising the branding and products stay in
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 in
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 way and the quality and value of
that is
Linking Words
 irrefutable.
Moreover
Linking Words
, whatever they invest more
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the value
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 higher and they can earn much more
money
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 it.
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