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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Transport Preferences Among Young People The bar chart below shows transport preferences among young people in four countries in a single year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Transport Preferences Among Young People The bar chart below shows transport preferences among young people in four countries in a single year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph compares four different shifting modes of,which
familier
Correct your spelling
familiar
families
 with
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 community in the United Kindom,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 America,
France
 and Italy
in
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
 year.
Overall
,it can be seen that,
while
 people in
France
 mostly
preffer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 bicycles
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in all the other three countries
Add a missing verb
are interest
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interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 automobiles.
To begin
 with,more than 70% of users
keen
Add a missing verb
are keen
show examples
 on cars in Italy ,and it is the highest percentage among all the states.
Then
,both in the
great britain
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Great Britain
show examples
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
ratio
Correct article usage
the ratio
show examples
 for the cars
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
.
Moreover
,one-tenth of youngsters
Add a missing verb
were willinged
show examples
willinged
Correct your spelling
willing
to move by using bicycles in the USA,
whereas
 three-fold of that of recorded in the UK.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
interested
Replace the word
interest
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
motocycles
Correct your spelling
motorcycles
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stood at approximately
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5% in the UK,
France
 and Italy 30% of the people in the land of liberty wanted to travel by them.In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
,more than 40% of
yong
Correct your spelling
young
 blood had faith
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 moving by
bicycles
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycle
show examples
 in
France
,which was the highest segment of them.
In contrast
,even though more than 50% of travellers used cars in Italy
roghly
Correct your spelling
roughly
 5% of them decided to use
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two sorts for moving.
Submitted by ranpuluk on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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