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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, people are living in the thrownaway society where things are used for a short period and throw away. What are the causes of this and what problems does it lead to?

#countries #people #thrownaway #society #period
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In our modern society,
people
Use synonyms
are tending
Wrong verb form
tend
show examples
 to use things for a short time span before throwing
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 away.
This
Linking Words
 is because of a marketing strategy from companies , which can lead to environmental issues
as well as
Linking Words
 financial troubles for consumers. It is conspicuous that the
thrownaway
Correct your spelling
thrown away
throwaway
 society has been progressively
developped
Correct your spelling
developed
 by different
manufaturers
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
 in order to push
people
Use synonyms
 to over-consume their products. Indeed, companies aim to sell the most they are capable of.In
this
Linking Words
 regard, they tend to produce items that
lasts
Change the verb form
last
show examples
 for a minimum duration before
beeing
Correct your spelling
being
 replaced by those consumers. A prime example to be showcased would be
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mobile phones. Famous brands release each year a new model of smartphone aiming to make buyers
changing
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
 their current tool for the brand new model.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 policy involves ineluctable environmental issues. Manufacturing a wide range of articles, no matter the type of industry, costs not only money
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 an overwhelming quantity of energy and raw material. In fact, factories use fuel energy and are considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
extremely polluting due
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
gaz
Correct your spelling
gas
 emissions
as well as
Linking Words
 the water contamination they induce.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
, especially youngsters, may feel obliged to follow
trend
Add an article
the trend
a trend
show examples
 , which
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to a higher cost of
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 for those young citizens.Whilst
people
Use synonyms
 some decades ago
didnt
Correct your spelling
didn't
 conceive the fact to change every year their mobile phone
for instance
Linking Words
, the new generation claim that matter as a mundane behaviour. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 new culture of using things for a short period of time has been clearly
setting
Wrong verb form
set
show examples
 up by companies and
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 may induce consequential ecological troubles for our planet and
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
show examples
 burden for
people
Use synonyms
, especially youngsters. It is crystal clear, though, that as responsible citizens, we may consider each purchase twice before doing it.
Submitted by namoisma on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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